Recovery Is More Than Removing Symptoms

Recovering From Covid

Last year, my wife and I had our first experience with Covid.

Our symptoms were similar, although there were a few differences. I had a chest cough that she didn’t have. She lost her sense of taste and smell, while I kept mine.

We both had fevers, fatigue, scratchy throats, and very little appetite. We stayed hydrated. We gave ourselves permission to be less productive. We took naps when we needed them. We gave our bodies the support they needed to heal.

At the time, we were focused on recovering from the symptoms of Covid. The fever. The fatigue. The cough. The sore throat. The low energy.

But if my body were writing about the experience, it might describe something deeper. It might talk about how hard it was working to recover from the virus that was causing all of those symptoms.

That distinction feels important to me.

Recovering From Symptoms

In my work as a Results Coach, I help people who are recovering from the symptoms of disconnection and trauma.

Some of those symptoms show up as addiction. Some show up as relationship dysfunction. Some show up as behavior that feels out of alignment with who a person really is.

Most people come to me because they want help recovering from the symptoms. They want to stop drinking. They want to stop repeating destructive patterns. They want to repair relationships. They want to feel more grounded, more clear, more connected, and more at peace.

Those are important desires.

But the deeper work is often about recovering from what caused those symptoms in the first place.

Losing Access to the Authentic Self

I have never worked with an addiction client who had not lost some sense of who they really are.

That may seem obvious. Addiction can do that. It can pull people away from their values, their relationships, their clarity, their self-respect, and their inner steadiness.

But here is the question I keep returning to.

If addiction causes the loss of the authentic Self, then wouldn’t abstinence automatically restore full access to the authentic Self?

That is rarely what I see.

Abstinence can be essential. It can create safety. It can interrupt destructive behavior. It can give the body, mind, and nervous system room to stabilize. But abstinence alone may not restore the deeper connection that was lost long before the addiction took hold.

What Disconnection Can Look Like

The loss of connection with the authentic Self can show up in many ways, including:

Addiction
Relationship breakdowns
Disconnection
Behavior that is misaligned with values
Absence of compassion
Confusion
Chronic fear and worry
Overwhelm
Concern about the opinions of others
Pursuit of approval or appreciation

As people recover access to their authentic Self, something different becomes possible.

Recovery may begin to include:

Addiction recovery
Reconnection and repair
Behavior aligned with values
Greater access to compassion
Clarity
Inner peace
Increased emotional capacity
Self-love

What Addiction May Be Trying to Manage

What seems increasingly apparent to me is that addiction is often an attempt to cope with the pain and discomfort of disconnection.

It is a strategy.

It is an attempt to manage something that feels overwhelming, unbearable, or unresolved.

In that sense, addiction is a symptom of a much bigger problem: unhealed trauma and disconnection.

When we begin to address that deeper problem, recovery becomes about more than stopping a behavior. It becomes about healing what the behavior was trying to manage.

The Capacity to Heal

I believe we each have the capacity to heal our past.

That capacity is built into us.

Just as the body knows how to respond to a virus, something in us knows how to move toward healing, connection, and wholeness.

But without a workable way to support that healing, the strategies we have used to cope with the wound can keep the wound protected and hidden.

The very strategies that helped us survive can begin to prevent the healing we most need.

What IFS Offers

In more than forty years of recovery, I have learned a great deal about what supports healing and what tends to keep people stuck.

I have also learned that there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

Of everything I have explored, the Internal Family Systems model has made the biggest difference in the quality of my life and in the way I understand recovery.

IFS trusts the internal world of each person. It assumes that what shows up inside has meaning.

It invites us to become curious about the parts of us that are working hard to protect us, manage us, defend us, distract us, or keep us from feeling pain.

Rather than fighting against those parts, IFS helps us listen to them. It helps us understand what they are trying to do. It helps us discover what they are afraid would happen if they stopped doing their jobs.

And as those parts are understood, supported, and no longer forced to carry burdens from the past, the internal system can begin to move toward harmony and balance.

Recovery Is Deeper Than Symptom Relief

I am grateful that Kathy and I have strong immune systems that helped us recover from Covid.

And I am just as grateful that we have powerful inner processes that can help us recover from the emotional wounds, disconnection, and protective strategies of the past.

Recovery is not only about removing symptoms.

It is about healing what the symptoms have been trying to manage.