Farewell

Bill: Welcome to the final episode of the "True You" podcast.

Marty: What? final Bill: Yeah, the

Marty: episode Bill: last episode. And so Marty's, um, um, faux surprise there was an authentic surprise probably 10, 15 minutes ago when we first jumped on. This is my co-host for the past three years of, of, uh, two different podcasts that we've been doing, Marty Kettelhut. My name is Bill Tierney, and, um, yeah. So it's come time to, to end the "True You" podcast, and, and Marty and I thought we would record one final episode to talk about how that lands for both of us and maybe explain to you as the listener, uh, how that decision was made and, and what to expect maybe in the, in the future. So, uh, Marty, you wanna get us, get us started with the impact on you?

Marty: yes. The, I I told Bill that, the completion exercise that I use with my clients we use it for lots of things. Completing a thought. I know this thought shouldn't drive me anymore or shouldn't be in my brain anymore, and I need to complete it. Or it could be a completion with another person with an activity. And the key question in getting to that place of really just being and complete with something that, and leave it in the past, has a- for me, has always been what makes it difficult to let go? There's a lot of other things that you wanna recognize, and we'll do this here a little bit today. Like what got accomplished y- what's next, all of that. Those, that all contributes to the completion. But at the crux of it for me has always been what is there to let go of really to be complete

Bill: Yeah. Yeah

Marty: what came up was the, just the, I get to be with Bill Tierney every week, and have a great conversation, and I'm gonna miss that. The other thing is just the recognition of all the good work that got done here over the past three years. We've been very regular about it. We've-- The-- I don't think there's been an episode that was, like, flat or meaningless. It was always rich and I think valuable. And so that... and on your end, you handled all the technology and, So these are the things that I just wanna acknowledge in order to be able to leave this series feeling complete

Bill: Mm-hmm. Marty, I heard you say that what, what makes this difficult to let go of is the time that you and I get to spend together each week. The, the predictable, powerful conversations that we end up having, e-either just between you and I and/or our guests. And, um, did I miss anything? Was there any-anything else that you mentioned?

Marty: Just the, all the work, the good work that got done,

Bill: yeah. Yeah

Marty: that although we're putting a bow on it, I, it's not over. It lives on and it-- we're not putting a bow on it because there was anything wrong with it. That's what I wanted to say

Bill: Yeah. Yeah. Um, for me, what seems to want to be talked about is our history. l- something tells me that if, if we can kind of walk through our history a little bit together, that'll help me to, really remember and notice and acknowledge what's been valuable to me and what I'm-- what I will miss about it

Marty: That's great. I would love to do that. And then let's after that just say where we're going. What are you up, what are you up to next? And I will do the same

Bill: Yeah. Super. Okay. All right. As I recall, and I don't have exact dates, I didn't do the research which is in keeping with what we normally do here. We don't do a lot of research before we just hit record and start talking. And having said that, we've, we've both just done a tremendous amount of research to learn our trades and whi- which, which so much have informed what it is that we've been talking about. But you and I, Marty, met, I wanna say in 2017 when you joined the then referred to as Mastermind Group on Friday Morning, which was a group of, uh... At that time, I think we had six or even seven coaches in the group. There was Sally and Nora and Paula and me and you and Jeff. And am I f- missing anybody at that time? So that's six of us

Marty: Did you say Sally?

Bill: Sally, yeah. and before you showed up, uh, to the group, there were others. There was Hans Phillips and Samadhi and,

Marty: Samadhi, yes. He's...

Bill: Tip Tip...

Marty: that's right.

Bill: Tip, what's his last name?

Marty: Don't remember

Bill: Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm forgetting that right now. And we've had others in the group as well. But the Friday Morning Mastermind Group started long before I joined in 2015, '16, and I was a brand new, relatively brand new coach. I'd been coaching part-time for about four years at that point and had just begun the coach training through Accomplishment Coaching, which was where the core of the Mastermind group had begun. Hans Phillips was one of the creators of the Accomplishment Coaching and one of the trainers and teachers and content creators. And, you know, he invited many of his students, including Nora and Paula and Sally to the group. And, um, uh, so he had left by the time you showed up, but you're also a personal friend of Hans, right? You and Hans.

Marty: Yeah

Bill: Yeah. And I really will always be forever grateful to Hans to, for introducing me to, to this Mastermind group because it's made such a big difference for me. And we all have our unique coaching styles. You were, you're one that wasn't trained by Accomplishment Coaching, but even for those of us that were trained by Accomplishment Coaching, we all took what we learned a- and built our coaching practices in our own unique ways. And shortly after you and I, you joined, and maybe about the same time that you joined the Mastermind group, I was introduced as a client in therapy to the Internal Family Systems model and became immediately enamored with it. I loved it. I was confused by it. I sensed the value of it. Couldn't quite wrap my mind around why was this so powerful and ended up going to level one training with the IFS Institute in 2019. So by then, you and I had been in the same group for about three years. And I think what we all have in common, and always have had in common, is the approach to coaching focused on who it is that we're being in any given s- situation and who it is that we need to be in order to really get the outcomes and results that we want, regardless of what tools we might want to use to support our clients in getting there. Would you agree with that?

Marty: Yes. Up until our most recent m- new member, that, that person is not trained in the ontological model

Bill: Yeah. Yeah. So his approach is a little bit different than us, and it's been-- it's sharpened our blades, all of us, I think, a little bit to, to have that different influence in the room. Yeah. So I've gone on and, and continued to train deeper and deeper and deeper into the internal family systems model until by 2021, 2022, I was certified and remain as a certified IFS practitioner. And now that is the lens through which I view practically all of my coaching. And how would you describe your coaching? What forms the lens through which you view... and how's that changed since you joined our, our Friday morning mastermind group?

Marty: although it doesn't come from a commerce of coaching, it is my coaching is ontologically based, as you mentioned. And I think that what might have shifted since being a part of the mastermind group is more of a recognition. I thi- I think my whole however five years that I spent writing that book on leadership came out of those conversations and recognizing that there was an, there's another whole opening, a whole new domain for me as a coach to investigate and to inter- to, to relate to people through. And the, and so I attribute that to those conversations, like just that recognition okay, yes, I'm an ontological coach, but I also have this thing about leadership that I have to say, and that's been a big part of the last 10 years for me

Bill: Mm-hmm. Well, and in fact, you are still-- I just saw an email from you this morning inviting me and, and whoever else received that email to a, like a talk about your book

Marty: That's right, yeah. It's

Bill: Yeah

Marty: the ProHuman Foundation next Thursday at 1:00 Eastern. So if anybody's listening and you'd like to attend that, I will be interviewed and there'll be a discussion a- among the people there. Could be anywhere between eight and 20 people

Bill: Well, I'm wondering if that'll happen again because this episode won't be released until after that.

Marty: I see.

Bill: Are you gonna have a recording of that available on your website possibly?

Marty: No, we don't record those so that the, we preserve the space people can share freely and not have to worry about. So

Bill: I see

Marty: those book club meetings are not recorded for that reason

Bill: But as far as that's not gonna be repeated. There may be other forums for you to be able to talk about your book and your ideas, but not with that particular one, a-as far as

Marty: correct.

Bill: Yeah. Yeah

Marty: and so when I get to where I'm headed, that's one of them. This popped up and it made me realize I could be doing more of this. So

Bill: So now one of the other things that, that gener- I'll say generally speaking, we, m- many of us, at least in the Mastermind Friday Morning group do, is we utilize, we have our own coaches or we are coachable. We be, we reach out to each other for coaching sometimes. And so you and I have been doing that off and on, um, probably for at least a couple years before I came up with the idea of having a podcast and having you be my co-host. And when I approached you on that, we talked about, well, what would we talk about? And of course, this has been at least three years ago, and you were writing your book on leadership at that time, and you said that you'd really like to talk about leadership. And the tie-in for me with that was the self-leadership that I was learning how to facilitate in my clients through the IFS lens, through internal family systems. So it made sense to me to, to do a podcast with you on leadership, and we started out calling it "The Not So Typical Leadership Coaching Podcast," which is a long name for a, for a podcast. And we came up with the music, and we came up with a script for announcing the beginning of the podcast, and one for the outro for thanking people for showing up. And then, I don't know how many episodes in, we decided let's change the name. We still want it to be a leadership podcast, but we just called it "The Leadership Coaching Podcast." And did another, I wanna say, 30 or 40 episodes of that one before it- we realized we'd run the course on that. We'd d- we'd done as much as we felt like we were inspired to do, and we decided to change gears and call it "The True You Podcast," which we both pretty quickly came to agreement about. That really what we wanted to talk about was the authentic self and how to find our way back there again

Marty: Yes, exactly

Bill: Yeah. And so this, I don't know which episode this is of the True You podcast, 60 or 70 or so of the of those that we've done, and we've done them almost every single week with some exceptions now for well over a year. And, uh, yeah, I feel proud of that. I feel very proud of the fact that we've done all that. So that's, that's kind of our history. Uh, and what I appreciate about it is your consistency too. Uh, I was just talking to a friend of mine and I mentioned to him that there's very few people in the world that I know of that have the capacity that I seem to have. And the fact that you can meet me at my level of capacity and commitment really makes me grateful for our, our m- friendship because it's kind of rare to, to have someone that's willing to commit and actually follow through and keep their word and, and show up with integrity and show up as their true, authentic self as consistently and as you have. And I wanna acknowledge you for that

Marty: Thank you. I got that

Bill: Yeah. Yeah. And I think what I'm gonna miss, like you said, is our conversations. We will talk anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes before we hit record in each episode, and often almost 100% of the time, unless we have a guest, it's in those 10 or 15 minutes that we determine what the topic is gonna be, and then we hit record, and 45 minutes to an hour later, we're still talking about it.

Marty: Exactly

Bill: Exploring. So there's an ease there's-- that, that comes from trusting each other, feeling safe enough with each other, and forgetting the fact that there's the very-- there's a possibility that any and anybody in the world could be listening to what we have to say.

Marty: Yeah. Thank you. That's a very important acknowledgement that discipline of showing up and being ready and then also just like the resources that we both are to generate from that point

Bill: Yeah. Yeah. And I also wanna acknowledge Ari, my virtual assistant. I call her virtual only because she's a real person, but she's not here f- in my physical space. Sh- and she's just been an amazing support for both of us in taking care of the technical end of it. All we have to do is hit record, and then she puts all the rest of it together according to the instructions that we came up with when we first began to develop the podcast. So it's been a great experience. I'm glad that we've had it. This feels like a good time to call it, call it complete until the next thing that's gonna happen.

Marty: Right

Bill: So let's go there now. Do, uh, do you feel like talking about what's next for you?

Marty: Yeah. You started out, I think, in the right foot for me is the leadership book is still an undiscovered goldmine. And so I love that I got invited to talk about it next week, and I'm gonna be, intentionally looking for other opportunities. If somebody's listening and wanna invite me as a guest to talk about the leadership book, that's the, that's something I'm open to going forward. It's very much a part of my practice now. My target audience o- of my pra- my coaching practice has gotten much narrower. This seems to be in the market that we live in now. The way to attract clients is n- to de-generalize, get very specific. And the people that I'm coaching are all leaders, and they are t- they want coaching on leadership. And so that's also, part of where I feel I'm being sent off from this is, like really supporting the leaders in our industries. The beauty project continues. I'm not only writing a book on beauty, but I've started a whole series and you can look for me on Instagram on this. I'm writing on the, what a beautiful business is. Like bringing the value of beauty to business. And I think it's gonna transform some of my curriculum as well as this s- this writing series. And who knows? Maybe it'll change my brand. We'll see. But beautiful b- the beauty and business is a really... That's like what gets me up in the morning. And lastly there's also a bit of a revival of my listen book. I got invited t- to lead a weekend retreat of CEOs the topic of listening. And that, that's my older book, and started r- rereading it in anticipation of this retreat in September and realized that it's the book for me, like right now. If I were gonna pick a book in the universe that could guide me through where I'm at in my business development, it's my own book on listening. I... It was a huge revelation. And so I'm actually working my own book, like doing the exercises. It's exactly what I need right now. That that... And that's ultimately what these leaders in business that I coach, it always comes back to that. Listening is the key, hence the name of my company. So yeah, that's me.

Bill: When are, when are you gonna be doing that? I know it's not open to the public. You've been invited to do it for is it for a company or for a, an organization that, that is made up of leaders?

Marty: this is the listening

Bill: The you said you were invited to lead a, is it a weekend workshop?

Marty: Yes.

Bill: Yeah. When is that happening?

Marty: That's in September. This is a group of CEOs that a colleague of mine has coached for a number of years,

Bill: I see

Marty: and they were looking for some good material for this year's fall retreat, and I'm it

Bill: Fantastic. I'm excited for you. I hadn't heard about that before. Very cool

Marty: Yeah I'm really delighted just to finish the paragraph that both of my books are, being in demand right now. There-- And there's a lot in them. It's just really just between you and me, it's

Bill: And everybody that's listening.

Marty: It's been fun having to go back and reread both of my books. "Wow, look at all the work I did here. This is good stuff." So

Bill: Yeah. Yeah. Great. And now if you think of anything else as I go through what I'm up to next, I-- make sure you make a note of it 'cause I'd, I'd really like to hear about it. Anything else you wanna mention before I jump into what I imagine that I'll be up to?

Marty: No, let's hear

Bill: Well, again, I think I need to, to do some history here. So in 2011, when I sat down with Carlos Jones and had a conversation with the first professional coach that I'd ever spoken with, I decided I wanted to become a coach. And at that time, I was a full-time mortgage loan originator in Spokane, Washington, which I, which is the community I live near still. And and this was on the heels of the financial meltdown that happened beginning in 2008, and, uh, I was pretty much financially destroyed by that. And the business had never been a lot of fun for me anyhow. I was devoted to it. I did the best that I could d- for my clients. But really the primary driving f- determinant of the fact that I was a mortgage loan officer was because here's something I could do after having gotten licensed by the state to hold a professional position despite the fact that I was limited to a high school education, and make some decent money doing it. Um, but what I'd never experienced consistently was having a career that I loved and that I did well financially at. Well, I certainly, in 2011, after having that conversation with Carlos, didn't immediately shift into having a highly financially rewarding, successful, fulfilling career as a coach, but I did get the clarity that's what I wanted to do and when I asked Carlos, "Hey," I said, "Hey, I wanna be a coach." He said, "Well then, go be a coach." And I said, "Well, what do you have to do to be a coach?" And he said, "Well, you have to have a client." And, and I said, "Okay, yeah, yeah. Right. But what else?" He said, "Well, you might wanna get business cards." At that time, they were relevant. And he said, "Get a business license, so that you're legitimate." I said, "Well, what about training? Do I need to be trained?" He said, "Well, you don't have to be. It certainly would be helpful to." And that's when he told me about accomplishment coaching, 'cause that's where he, that's where he went.

Marty: I see

Bill: And so for the next four years, I coached part-time in secret. 'Cause when I went to my mortgage loan officer boss and said, "Hey, I'm coaching people now." And he said, "Oh, you need not tell me that again. Don't... I didn't hear that from you." Because if, for the company that I was working for at the time, if they knew that I had a side gig, they would fire me. So it's a hard way to start a business, keeping it a secret. Uh, one of the biggest challenges of, of getting, uh, getting a coaching business started is finding the clients. And to find clients, you have to kinda be out there talking to people and telling them what you're up to and, and inviting them into your practice. So I had to find a way to start my coaching business while keeping it a secret. So in a way it kinda worked for me, because it was scary to go ask someone to hire me as their coach. So what I did was I was working with a bunch of b- new real estate agents at the time, and I said, "Hey, I wanna practice coaching. Can I practice on you? I won't charge you." And that's what I did, and pretty soon I... Then I formed a group, and some of them started paying me a little bit of money. And by 2015, I had a minimum amount of money that I wanted to earn as a coach before I would give myself permission to leave my full-time position as a mortgage loan officer, and I hit that number. And so I quit, and I went full-time in December of 2015 Coincidentally, I was in, right smack dab in the middle of a one-year coach training program with Accomplishment Coaching at that very time. What I really wanted to do was coach people that were in recovery in 2011. I decided not to pursue them as my coaching clients because what I knew of recovery was 12-step. And what I knew about 12-step, by that time, I'd been sober for 30... 29 years, and I'd been involved in 12-step and going to meetings that entire time. And one of the, one of the, principles of the 12-step program, recovery program is 12-step work, which are, which is where you give away what you have been given. And while coaching is not that, coaching isn't an extension of the 12-step program, it's still the sentiment of what I do to support other people that are in recovery I need to do for free. That was deeply in me,

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Bill: and I was worried that if I offered my coaching for money to people that were in recovery, that I'd be judged f- and criticized for that. So, I decided not to do that. And

Marty: Interesting. I see.

Bill: Yeah. And I, and I-- And so I built my business based on working with people that were real estate agents and others who just happened to be in my networking groups. In the meantime, I continued to be involved in 12-step until about 2017, 2018. So what is that? About seven years ago, eight years ago. And, uh, when I stopped going to meetings, I started being exposed to more ideas about what it meant to be in re- to be in recovery. And the entire time that I was in recovery, in 12-step I always felt like something was missing. W- Now, I began to find what was missing in around 2002 when I was, when I discovered Byron Katie, after my second marriage ended. I was, and I was suffering, and I was struggling, and I was desperate and afraid. I was afraid that I was gonna find myself back in another relationship like the one I had just survived. And, uh, when I, when I found Byron Katie I began to learn some things. I'm not just at the mercy of whatever life throws at me. I actually have some responsibility for it. Isn't that interesting? Here I am, 20 years sober, and I'm just now learning that. But for me, I don't know if I was thick or if I just didn't have the right support or a combination of both, but it wasn't until I discovered Byron Katie that I really got that I have some responsibility for the experience that I'm having in my life. And of course, by now I realize I have all the responsibility for what I'm experiencing in life. Byron Katie really helped me with that by helping me to challenge my thoughts and beliefs

Marty: I'd-- Not to interrupt the story, but I always ascribe these sort of like, why did it take so long or why did I learn that here versus there or whatever. I just throw all that in a bucket of it's on God's time. I

Bill: Yeah, that's good. It doesn't really matter. Uh, although I, I gotta tell you, I did spend a lot-- I have spent a lot of time kinda shaming and guilting myself for having taken so long. You know, the guy with 20 years of sobriety that I was felt a lot of tension, a lot of pressure to, to have my life together far better than it was. Because in my mind, there was this formula: if I get sober, life should get better, and the longer I'm sober, the better it should get. But in reality, life only got so much better before it plateaued. Quitting drinking was a great tourniquet. It stopped the bleeding. But without finding a way to practice principles that would im- that would actually transform me rather than just giving me more to manage myself with, I remained pretty much the same and struggled, struggled through life until I discovered ways to take responsibility for it

Marty: It's a good analogy. The tourniquet stops the bleeding, but that doesn't mean you're ready to go back out into the battle yet. Wait a minute, you still got some time th- for that wound to heal and for the muscle to rebuild and to go in a whole new direction like you did. So I, I just say it, it takes as much time as it takes. It's, that's not-- We don't have watches for this stuff.

Bill: Well, and the, your use of the word battles, that's a good descriptor of what it was like for me in the first 20 years of sobriety. It felt like a battle,

Marty: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Bill: and it felt like something to survive. It didn't feel-- I would, I had kinda given up on ever winning it, winning that battle, but I thought I might be able to stay in it and fight it and give it the good fight and survive it.

Marty: I see

Bill: Byron Katie's method introduced me to the possibility that I actually might be able to change. That I that there's, there was the possibility that there were things that I could do that would change me from the inside out permanently, sustainably, without, without ongoing battling

Marty: it gives me shivers.

Bill: Yeah. Yeah. Well, you can see why I got so excited about it. And once I discovered it, I began to apply it almost as, as persistently as my drinking had been. Uh, I was a persistent Byron Katie method user. Anytime I began to suffer, I realized that if I could set aside 10 or 15 minutes to look at the thinking that was behind the suffering, to run it through her four questions and the turnaround, by the time I got to the turnaround, I was no longer suffering. And not only that, not only was I no longer suffering, my entire internal belief system had shifted permanently. And so I was very excited about it. In fact, I based my coaching without the first four years that I coached part-time, I based my coaching on Byron Katie because it was so powerful, and I was able to trans- transfer that, that experience to my clients. So I started doing pretty well because it made a big, big difference for them as well

Marty: Yeah

Bill: And then IFS comes along that I, I went back to therapy because there was just certain things that I couldn't seem to get past, even with Byron Katie. And I didn't understand why, and I was frustrated by it, and I was hoping therapy could help, but didn't really believe it would because I'd had off and on 30 years of therapy experience. And I finally met my first internal family systems therapist, Brenda, and within four sessions, and many of you have maybe heard this story already, so I won't, won't make it a long one. But within four, seven sessions, I had s- an internal shift that was so profound that it put me on a different path. And and it was about that time I quit going to, to meetings, and I just really invested myself deeply in IFS, just like I did with Byron Katie, and my life continued to transform more and more. And now it's been seven, eight years since I've gone to meetings. I'm still sober. It'll be 44 years in November that I've remained sober. And what that means is there's... If, if it weren't for Byron Katie and IFS, I would be f- feeling an intolerable amount of pressure to really have my shit together because somebody with 44 years of sobriety really should have their shit together. But the fact remains that only being sober just gets you to a place where you can transform, but it doesn't transform you. It just stops the bleeding. So now I find myself really excited about a new program that I'm creating called Three Deep Recovery, and it's a program for people that are already in recovery, whether that means they've been able to maintain consistent abstinence from whatever substance or behavior or not, and I wanna support them just like I needed and then found support to be able to find, identify what is it that's missing? Why is it missing? How do I access it? How do I find what's missing in recovery that I really wanna believe is possible and was hoping that just being sober long enough would do for me? How do I actually develop that? And so I've cr- create-- I'm currently running a pilot group that's informing what will turn out to be a nine-month program that will be available to people who by, who will want to either just sign up for the online course and then be supported once a week with a Q&A live with me or join one of my groups. And I expect that those groups will be begin somewhere in, around September because I'm gonna take the summer to really deeply develop this program and, and all the structure that's required so anybody that signs up for, for it can hit the ground running without having to encounter a lot of technical difficulties. So that's what I'm up to. That and I, I need to finish, uh, Me Too. I want to finish the second book of my three-book memoir trilogy. The first book, "Surviving Myself," should be released by the time this episode is released. It's with the publisher now going through its final edits. Should be available on Amazon by June 1st, I would think. It's called "Surviving Myself." The next book I'm writing now, it's called "Finding Myself." I wanna have that done, sometime in the next eight, six, eight months or so. Uh, once I finish that, then I wanna write the f- the last book of the memoir s- series called "Being Myself." And, um, I also need to or want to record the audio version of the Parts Work guidebook, which just got published earlier this year. And so those are the main... Oh and finally I'm a trainer along with a co-trainer in Elevate, which is a training program that has us training established coaches on u- the using IFS model in their coaching practices. So that's what I'm up to. And, and so in order to make all of that work and have room and time for all of that, that's part of the reason for saying that this is the last episode of the TrueYou podcast.

Marty: Then

Bill: There is a possibility that later there will be a Three Deep Recovery podcast. I don't have firm plans about that quite yet, but it's in the thinking about it. So that's what I'm up to.

Marty: Great. Awesome. Thank you for all of that. And what a,

Bill: Thank

Marty: what an amazing journey.

Bill: Yeah. Yeah, it has been. It has been. It's, it's been great. You know, the-- I gotta say though, that the biggest challenge every step of the way has been recognizing that the direction I've been going was only s- while it, while in and of itself was of great value Often, and in fact every single time, that direction has pointed me to the, to what's next. So what's challenging about that is letting go of what has been in order to embrace and make room for what's next

Marty: Yeah. I, similarly with me, w- I-- There came a point where I realized academia wasn't gonna be my home forever, I didn't wanna totally leave it behind, and so I, I melded philosophy and business into philosopher of the marketplace, which is what I consider myself. Y- but coach is the word that we use in our society, right? You don't have a... bills themselves, selves as a philosopher of the marketplace, but that's what I am in my own head. And then there came the point where, okay, I'm in business now, but there's, there, there's m- something that I notice as a meditator about how people do business that if I could bring that to business. So I melded listening with business development, and that was my first book. So the-- I'm always like there's like a part of me that, that is, just doing it the way everybody's doing it and then sees something else that I could bring to that. And that's what is going on in the realm of beauty now. I see beauty, and think that if I could bring that to me to business, that would be, that would enlighten, the things. And so I keep melding, like I'm not a straightforward this or a straightforward that. I always bring my own piece to it and meld that, and that's what makes me excited about it and a unique contribution to the field.

Bill: Yeah. Yeah. Ever-changing, ever-evolving. Yeah. Would you agree, though, that it's h- that it's kinda hard to let go of what has been so?

Marty: what I'm saying is I never do. I let go of the, maybe the trappings of academia,

Bill: Yeah

Marty: let go of philosophy. It's, it,

Bill: There's been a consistent thread. Yeah

Marty: And then I never let go of business development to go to listening. I made listening the reason to do or the way to do business development, et cetera. So I, I agree it's hard to leave it behind. In fact, I don't. I bring it with me.

Bill: And yet there are elements of it like this is the last e-episode of this podcast. This is a evidence and I guess a consequence of letting go of what I've been doing to embrace what I will be doing. What I'm letting go of is identification as a certified IFS practitioner and results coach, to identification as a recovery coach

Marty: I see. Yeah

Bill: and recovery trainer and recovery teacher and recovery writer. I am committed to, as the creator and owner of 3Deep Recovery, providing a different recovery model for the world

Marty: But I bet there'll be a lot of IFS in it

Bill: There definitely will be. Uh, but the reason I'm distinguishing that I'm, I'm letting go of my identity as an IFS practitioner is that despite the fact that I will continue to be a, a certified IFS practitioner and that I will continue to help people get results in their lives, whether they're, they are in recovery or not, focus and I- and identity, who I am isn't changing, of course. But in the marketplace, how I'm identifying is someone who wants to be supporting others who are in recovery and ha- and has found some answers that, that actually make a difference

Marty: I hear what you're saying. I left a-academia but, to just to along the, to, to fit the same pattern but so that identity as an academician I left. But, I'm bringing all that I brought, all that I n- learned from that to the world of business

Bill: you stopped showing up at the university though

Marty: Yeah, exactly. But that

Bill: right

Marty: identity piece, you're right, that's the hard part because we think that is me. I am this identity. And so it's beautiful that your life shows like, yeah, you were addicted and now you're not, and you were a Byron Katie person and now you're not, but you've got all of that inside of you

Bill: That's right. That's right. And all of it shows up. Every once in a while, uh, my, my expertise and history as a mortgage loan officer really serves the client in front of me who is facing something that I've gone through and, and I'm not gonna tell them how to get a loan or how to shop for the best interest rate or get the fewest number of points. That's not what I'm coaching about. What I'm coaching about is the s- the, the mindset, the state of being, the impact internally of whatever it is that they're experiencing in life. And all of it serves in my relationship

Marty: present to having read the first volume-- all of it, but excerpts from the first volume of your memoir.

Bill: Yeah

Marty: That little kid, that little boy, look at all he's been through and all he's learned and all the identities that he's had

Bill: That's right. Yeah. That little kid that was sitting at the bus stop at nine, eight, nine years old and wondering if the world around him was actually real, if he was making it all up, or if it was just a big joke that everybody was playing on him. That kid.

Marty: That kid, yeah. Look at all he's done. Amazing

Bill: Yeah, it's been a life, man. And, um, I wanna keep living it. I wanna keep creating, I wanna keep adding to it and, and contributing.

Marty: Great

Bill: for-- Uh, now I'd like to say to our listeners who have been listening all along, or if you're a brand-new listener, thank you. Thank you for listening. I hope that the conversations that Marty and I have had, including today's, in some way contribute to the life that you have and that, that you're trying to create for yourself. And I, and I really want you to know, uh, listener, that I believe that what's possible for you is no less than what's possible for me and no less than what's possible for Marty, that we are all born with purpose, with an internal guidance system that points us in that direction, and that sometimes that internal guidance system gives us feedback that we don't like very much. It gets uncomfortable and painful. And for me, in my life and my experience, that discomfort and that pain will persist until I start paying attention to it. And it's not there to punish me. It's not there to punish you. It's there to let you know there's a better way. There's something better to reach for, and it's worth the effort of reaching for it, asking for help, looking for what could possibly be happening and what could possibly happen for you in your life. So if you've got a glimmer of an idea of what, how life might be better for you, I want you to consider that that might be something coming to you through your internal guidance system that I want you to pay attention to. And I want you to-- I wanna thank you for listening and letting us be in any way any kind of support for the path that you've been on.

Marty: Amen

Bill: Thank you, Marty, for being my partner, my co-host, and I, I'll, I am glad to call you my friend and look forward to our continued conversations that won't be recorded

Marty: Thank you. Same to you, Bill.

Bill: Take care

Marty: Bye