Jake Turner

Jake: ever since I've gained that clarity on my purpose it's just been, like unlimited fire basically.

Jake: you basically could be doing all the things you wanna do right now and enjoying your life.

Jake: when your life is focused on helping others, there's no end to that growth.

Marty: Welcome again to the True You podcast. Um, Bill and I have a special guest today, which is gonna be exciting. Um, it's Jake Turner. Say hello, Jake, so they can hear your voice.

Jake: Hey, how's it going?

Marty: um, worked in the medical field or works in the medical field, but he's, m- he's here as a coach today with us. Um, and he's a, he's a deep thinker. He listens carefully to his clients. He builds strong structures with them for health and discipline, and helps them scale their business and create freedom in their life. His mission is to change that usual way that we work, you know, where we're, we're not free and we're not doing our best, um, and to unlock building a legacy and, and not get burnt out. So he, he says in his LinkedIn bio, "If you're ready to scale your business and your life, message me." So that's who we're dealing, that's who we're talking to today.

Bill: If you're ready to scale. At, at first I thought you said scare. That wouldn't have made sense.

Jake: don't be scared of scaling.

Marty: So that opens my first question, like, who are your, are your clients generally speak? Who, who, and what, what are they scaling?

Bill: What's, what's the name of your podcast, Jake?

Jake: uh, it's pretty original. It's, uh, Jake Turner Podcast, so it's on YouTube, Apple, and Spotify.

Bill: Yeah. You must have hired a consultant for that to get that name of the podcast,

Jake: Yeah, I

Bill: huh?

Jake: Yeah. Very-- He has this very similar name to myself.

Bill: His rates were good. So tell me, I'd, I'd like to know more about you, Jake. So, so Marty met you and, and, and had conversations with you. This is the first conversation that you and I have had, so I'm similar to the listening audience. I wanna get to know you And, and, uh, what I'm curious about is at what point did you begin to see yourself as a coach? How long ago, and what, what inspired that?

Jake: So I- I've always been a leader. I think when I was getting coaching... So I've, I still use coaches. You know, that's, that's, that's one thing. It's like a pet peeve of mine if, if people are coaches and, uh, they- they're, trying to sell coaching and then it's like, "Oh, well, what coaches do you use?" Like, "Oh, I don't have any coaches." It's like, how much do you believe in coaching if you don't, you- you- don't, have any coaches yourself? You know? So I, I still have coaches for, for fitness, for dating, for business, for, for marketing tools. And so, uh, one of the coaches was like, you know, "You should be a coach." I'm like, " okay." You know? And, uh, couple of years ago, I guess about three years ago now, maybe a little bit longer, I started doing social media content and then I decided... I really go all in on anytime I do anything, and so wanna say I wanna do it, I wanna do it right, but I, I put a lot of effort in everything I do. And so I wanna become a, like, legit coach, so I went through IPEC to get certified, and so that was, like, a year and a half. it's a little pricey too. It's a big investment, like $13,000, you know, and you can't just do it in a year. It- it's usually it's about a year and a half to get everything done. It's, it's, it's quite a time commitment along with, uh, the money commitment. And so, yeah, and then, um, a- after f- like, getting close to finishing that I was kinda, like, trying to figure out, like, who, like, who do I wanna coach or what am I gonna do with this? You know, I was going through a, a tough relationship at the time, and then I got out of that and got refocused, I was like, "Okay, I'm gonna go all in on starting a podcast and dialing in my, my niche," and, and just really became clear on my purpose that I'm here to help others. And so I believe my mission, my purpose in life is to be love and, and share love with others. so, yeah, ever since I've gained that clarity on my purpose it's just been, like, a unlimited fire basically.

Bill: Mm-hmm.

Jake: it's just like, uh, there's just tons of drive and that's why I think it's, it's so, it's so critical to know what your vision, your purpose is and have that, like, crystal clear picture of it, 'cause it, it directs everything else in your life.

Marty: This is one of the things that we talked about. We both align, uh, you know, fa- found or find on an ongoing basis like that alignment piece. When you know you're perfect, like I'm here to help people. I'm a leader. I'm all in

Jake: Mm-hmm.

Marty: to help people. That

Jake: Yeah.

Marty: ener- there's, there's this force that sort of like moves things along when you align. This was one of the things that we talked about, one of the reasons I thought, "Oh, we gotta have him on," because that's what we talk about. The, I mean, that's one of the aspects. It's one of the ways you know you keyed into the true you, 'cause there's, there's energy behind it.

Jake: Right. Right. Exactly. And that, that misalignment, which I don't know if you'd made that... There's one coach I talked to who, who, who had this, this interesting analogy, but if it's, it's that, that misalignment

Marty: was me.

Jake: create-- Yeah. So you, So, so it creates, it creates that tension. I, I, I love your analogy to it, to where it's like, uh,

Marty: was...

Jake: like if you're driving a car and the tires are going all different directions, you know? And what you need is you need to get your tires, yourself, your life aligned, and that's how you're gonna get somewhere. 'Cause if not, if you're, you're pulled different directions or I think of a way of too is like if you had your phone set with three different GPS apps and all going different directions going off at once, like, whoa, whoa, it's just complete chaos. How do you, how do you know where to go? You're not gonna get anywhere, and it's just gonna be a lot of noise and chaos in the meantime.

Marty: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Did you-- I interrupted your, your series of questions, Bill.

Bill: Oh, that's-- I didn't have a, a, a planned series of questions. I was just

Marty: I see.

Bill: it's good that you just jumped in when, when you had something to say, Marty. That's fine.

Marty: Okay.

Bill: but... And, and but my original question was, you know, so what, uh... How long you been coaching and what inspired you to become-- And I think you've answered that. Uh, I-- you said that you've, you've had several coaches. Uh, who was your first coach?

Jake: Let's see. My first coach been, uh, Davin Meessen. He's a dating coach.

Bill: Mm-hmm.

Jake: And so-- But sometimes you'll find with certain coaches that, um, it's not just like, like in his, his aspect, it's not just about, uh, dating. You know, his stuff is, know, uh, motivation and getting your life together. A lot of his stuff is, it's, it's the whole, uh, picture of your life, your sleep, your nutrition, how you think about things,

Bill: Oh.

Jake: the value in yourself, you know, those things that, that builds you as a person, and then that makes you an ideal person. And also, it's not just dating. His marketing and purpose is to find a life partner. And so it's again, what you're focusing on, what your goal is at the end of the day, that will direct you a lot. So yeah, he's my first-- He's a good, good friend of mine. I actually had him on, uh... I went to Dublin and did a podcast with him. He's, he's, uh,

Marty: Hmm.

Jake: a great guy. He's a, he's a character for

Marty: Mm-hmm. Hmm. Uh-huh.

Bill: So it

Marty: All

Bill: um, approach to coaching. That-- the-- what-- it sounds like it was a, an excellent first experience with coaching. And, and at that point, were you at All ever thinking about, "Boy, I could do this, and this is something I'd like to do as well," or something like this?

Jake: Yeah. Yeah, he's one of the original ones that came to me and was like, he's like, "You know, you should be a coach." I'm like, "Oh, okay." Like "Well, what, what does that look like?" You know, because it reinforced in the fact, look, for me, if you want to improve others, the best way to do is to lead by example. And so a lot of things that I help people with or just to help people around my life in general is it's very important for me to lead by example. So I'll never tell someone to meditate or do exercises in the morning. Like could, and I consider doing like, like streaming live, like you can wake up in the morning and like there's certain times of the day I'm doing, uh, a simple exercise routine called foundation training, and I do Tony Robbins priming every day. I mean, it's just like clockwork and the things I recommend to people, it's like, it's 'cause I'm doing those things myself and when you test so many things in personal development, you learn what things, oh, they kind of work, they kind of don't. You know, like I was joking, uh, or talking about earlier, I, I took an energy drink but like say for example, I've, I've taken ketones before as well, and I'm not recommending

Marty: right. Mm-hmm.

Jake: that happiness. But at, at a baseline being content and then finding things to, to add happiness in your life.

Bill: You know, this reminds me a little bit of, uh, Tim Ferriss.

Jake: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm a big fan of him

Bill: You're not-- I was, I was gonna guess you probably are a big fan of Tim Harris. Uh, or Tim Ferriss. I... Me too.

Jake: yeah. Yeah.

Bill: Me too. I, I really admire

Marty: Yeah, I got a lot of his-- That first book, "The 4-Hour Workweek."

Jake: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I love the Mexican fisherman parable. I'm sure you're aware of that story.

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Bill: for-- I'm not. Can you share it?

Jake: Oh, Yeah, of

Marty: Yes.

Jake: So that book I love so much because I was introduced to that parable in it, and I bought the book again just to read the parable. So the Mexican fisherman parable basically is there's a investment banker and he is on vacation in Mexico in the Caribbean area, and he sees this Mexican fisherman. Now, the fact that he's Mexican doesn't really apply much to the story, but so this guy's fishing and he's just reeling in the fish, you know, and the investment banker's like, " Wow, you're really good at fishing. Like what do you, what do you do once you catch all those fish?" And he's like, "Well, I-" I go home and I, I take them to the market and sell them, and then, um, I go take a nap with my wife, and then I go into town and have some drinks and play guitars with my buddies. And the investment banker's like, "Look, don't you Stan, Like, you could teach people how to fish the way you do, and then you could, uh, buy a bunch of boats, and then you can make a ton of money, and then you can do whatever you want." And fisherman's like, "Well, what would I do then?" And the investment banker goes, "Well, yeah, I don't know. You could go take a nap with your wife, or you could live in a Caribbean area, or you could, you know, go in town and have, uh, some drinks with your buddies, whatever you want." And he's like, "Well, that's what I'm doing now." You know, and so there's a couple key lessons to that. One is you basically could be doing all the things you wanna do right now and enjoying your life. You don't have to wait. Tim Ferriss' example in the book is often think they have to make way more money than they do to really enjoy their life. They think like, oh... I think the example he used in the book was, like, one guy wanted to rent a motorcycle and drive through Thailand, but he thought he needed to make a million dollars a year to do that, and they calculate how much it costs, $3,000. It's like, well don't you just make three $3,000 and then go live this lifetime experience. And so it's, it's a constant reminder of like... I, I think of this concept recently, it's when people, founders compare it to sacrificing all their time and their energy their family, And it's like, "Well, I'm gonna-- I gotta work hard and then,

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Jake: you know, I can-- and then I can spend time with my family." But it's really like saying like, not gonna spend time with my family, so then I can spend time with my family." it's

Marty: Yeah.

Jake: just totally backwards.

Marty: When

Jake: can

Marty: you

Jake: the things you wanna do and you should really carve out the time for it, because there's a cost to it, especially when you think about time is not guaranteed, and those-- that time with people is not guaranteed. And it's a huge risk to not be spending

Marty: don't

Jake: with your family and your friends or living out

Marty: what

Jake: at least trying to accomplish your dreams.

Marty: shape you're gonna be in when that day kind of comes, given that you've been overworking yourself, you know, for all the intervening 20 years, you might not... Like, this is what happened to my father actually when he finally retired and That was gonna be those golden years. He was sick. He'd worked himself to the bone, and so it wasn't... So, you know, seize the day. So it sounds like part of the way that you help people is you get them to see what's right in front of them.

Jake: Right. Right. Exactly

Marty: And, um, I, I wanted to talk a little bit about that because when I was just getting introduced to coaching, and so there might be like a generational difference between us as coaches in our training.

Jake: Mm-hmm. "

Marty: Don't use the word help. Don't tell people you wanna help them. They-- nobody wants to be helped. If you tell somebody they need help, they'll run away." So I have that in my head, right? And yet we all want help. Ultimately, we wanna be helped. So

Jake: Right.

Marty: you know, I'm just curious, like if... That's why I was struck by, well, it sounds like a big part of what you provide in the way of help is to show people that they don't need much more than, you know, they just need to recognize what's right there and, and, and seize the day. So I'm just, I-- could you speak about this helping piece?

Jake: Yeah, I think, I think some people, like, do want help. Now, whether they can ask for help, that's, that's a different story. I guess I'm just curious, very curious as a coach, what-- why did they say people don't... Like, you shouldn't offer help to people?

Marty: because the, it, it like it means that they're less than you. Like that, that, "Oh, I, you know, I need your help. I'm not as good," or, "I'm not as, you know, whatever. I, the, I'm lacking something you've got, so you gotta help me, and I don't wanna be put in this lowly position."

Jake: Hmm. Interesting. I, I never heard of that before. I mean, I, I could see it that way, but I don't... I guess I just would wonder, like, if people-- Do people really, feel that way when they really want help? You know what I mean? Like, if I down and broke my leg, I'm not-- it may not necessarily be like, "Hey, I know you're better than me," but like

Marty: Yeah,

Jake: I'm just

Marty: no,

Jake: Right.

Marty: that's,

Jake: think...

Marty: that's a great thing to point out because I think that's part of the, that's part of why in the coaching field, like I said, this was my training, and it might

Jake: yeah, yeah,

Marty: not be relevant anymore, but that, you know, it's like saying, yeah. Oh, you got, you're broken as compared to me, so I need your help," right? And that or, or it was associated with psychiatry. "Oh, he needs help.

Jake: I

Marty: a problem up here.

Jake: see.

Marty: He needs help." So like some sort of brokenness, and like just like you pointed out. In those cases, yeah, we want help, right? But if it's just about, you know, doing better at my business, I don't need help. Like that, right?

Jake: Well, yeah. Well, I-- when I think of that, I mean, those type of people I don't wanna help anyway, you know? Because, because you just, like, can't help someone if they don't want to be

Marty: Yes.

Jake: that, that, that's just how it is. I mean...

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Jake: And I think

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Jake: people who aren't willing to pay either, they, they're not gonna pay attention so I don't necessarily offer to coach people for free, just like I don't offer to give people advice, because they're not gonna listen to it, because they're not invested in it. So that's why leading by example, I think, is the best way.

Marty: I see.

Jake: see me in shape, or dirt bike rider. If they see me going fast on the track or my bike looks really nice or something, they might be like, "Oh, hey, uh, what are you, what are you doing?"

Marty: Right.

Jake: know? Right. Versus like if I come to them like, "Okay, here's how we need to fix your dirt bike, and

Marty: Right.

Jake: you know, here's, here's my ab routine." And then you start telling someone, they're gonna be like, "Yeah, yeah. What- whatever." You know, they're not gonna, they're not gonna listen to it. So I think it comes down to today how to, how to influence people, how to in- how to inspire them, how to... I don't know if help is the right word, but giving wisdom and advice to people who are actually seeking it and finding it valuable.

Marty: Yeah. Yeah.

Jake: I can coach people for free and it's gonna help them, great. But if I coach them for free and it doesn't help them, and if I coach them and it costs money and that actually helps them, then what should I do? Well, I should charge someone for it. It, it's unfortunate that it's that way, but

Marty: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Jake: things in life just are the way they are, and I just choose to accept them, and that's okay. And the sooner you can learn how certain things work in life and just accept them for what they are,

Marty: Yeah.

Jake: it's not fight against how reality is, m- then you can make progress with it, and then you can influence the world for the better once you figure out how certain things in life work. And everything's different, of course.

Marty: No, I like, I like your approach. Go ahead,

Bill: and then that's where I'm going. And so you work with founders. You said there were two, two categories of people that you work with, founders and,

Jake: Executives.

Bill: executives. Okay. So what, what would be a common, let's just say, request or challenge that one of your clients might bring to you?

Jake: So time's a big thing, people wondering how to use their st- their time strategically and wanting to get more time back. And then that comes with a whole slew of problems to where it's if they could hire someone, like an assistant, people don't even realize like, oh, if you don't have an assistant, guess what? You're the assistant.

Marty: Bill.

Jake: even if you hire one, then it's being able to let go of things and to where no one is gonna be you. not gonna be able to do something at the speed and accuracy and things that you can, but if someone can do it at 80% as good as you do, then great. with founders, executives too, once you get to a certain level of things, or in life, you have a certain level of motivation. So I'm a big visionary person. I wanna do... You know, I do anesthesia still. I podcast. I'm doing all these different things. It can get lonely. You can feel alone because not a lot of people think like you, but that's okay. And so Realizing that is for what it is, and then having someone like a coach you can talk to who's, one, actually gonna listen to you. ' Cause most people, when you talk to them, they don't listen. And to them in confidence with no judgment too. When you talk to someone and then you don't judge them, and then you can make people feel seen and heard, it's such a good feeling. And so those are some of the top things, communication, ways to set boundaries. You're talking to someone in legal, uh, they're gonna be a lot different than, uh, a CEO or a founder executive is. Or even like an administrator's role, like people who are in a supporting role, they act and think a lot differently than someone who's in a CEO, COO position. And that's okay, but just realizing the differences, what drives them, what motivates them, how to communicate with them, so you all can be on the same page for a vision and, and work together.

Bill: Yeah. So I think there's a misperception of those that have- haven't had coaches or who might even have a bias against having a coach, that mis- misperception might be helped out by people that call themselves coaches but probably don't last very long. And, and these are people who, um, put the coach hat on and then think that they have to be the expert in whatever area that their client is. So I know Marty works-- has, has for years worked with financial advisors. Am I right, Marty?

Marty: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Bill: You're kind of moving, uh, you're broadening...

Marty: I didn't study finance or-- at all.

Bill: Right. So but you're the expert for them in what would you say? You are an expert as a coach, but you're not an expert in, in financial advising. What are you the expert in? I'm asking you, Marty, and then I wanna...

Marty: Yeah. Well, I would say in how to live life powerfully.

Bill: Okay. And I'll ask you the same question, Jake. So with your clients, you, you, you can't possibly be the expert in, in all these different areas that, that where you meet the, your, clients. What are you the expert in?

Jake: My expert in, through coaching, is finding what drives people and what their limiting beliefs are, and coaching who you are as a person. Because a lot of these how-tos are the same. You can, you can Google it or AI. I'm not, always the biggest fan of AI. You know, I think the more authentic and real you can be, the better. But as you guys know, through coaching, sometimes people will be like... I'll use an example. Someone's like, "Oh, I have trouble saying no." And then, "Okay," so that's the, the problem they say, right?

Bill: Yeah,

Jake: But then you ask a couple questions and it's like, "Well, it might be related to my childhood." And then, "Oh yeah, you know, wouldn't show up to my birthday parties, you know? And, you know, I, it's-- I thought it was my fault." But without some focus and sitting in a problem thing, like where are these beliefs actually coming from?

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Jake: It has nothing to do with the technique and the conversation, the words being said of saying no. It has everything to do with this past experience and limiting belief of this

Marty: Yes.

Jake: We'll, we'll call them Ryan, for example. It's not the person's name, but little Ryan, what he experienced and went through, that's just not true. And so is what's important, being an expert at finding out and coaching who you are as a person, because that is what creates permanent change.

Marty: Yep. That's right. Exactly.

Bill: right. And, and that sounds like, um, some, some of that IPAC training that you got.

Jake: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. So I'm definitely, definitely, definitely grateful for that because, yeah, you don't, you don't have to be an expert, like I said, in, in finance or, or certain things because you coach who you are as a person, and some people just don't even know who they are until they're asked. That's one of the most important questions I got asked when I was trained. Someone just asked, "Who are you?" And then you have to explain that, and it's like, "Oh, wow, like this is a, this a deep question." you answer that, it solidifies you and like, like who you are, then there's a lot of confidence in that.

Marty: Yeah, I, I have another quick example, and then I have a question to follow. I'm, I'm coaching a young guy, like, I don't even know if he's quite 30 yet, but he's got a, um... He's coming up in the ranks at an private equity firm in New York City. He's smart, he's diligent, he's, he's got everything he needs, but he has this notion that goes back to something his parents said to him, and then w- and this is when they had just come over from Pakistan and settled in the United States, and he was the only Brown kid in class, that he's in the way,

Bill: Hmm.

Marty: right? And so he do- he's-- That has been the ceiling to his progress, is he doesn't wanna be in the way. So he doesn't raise his hand in meetings. He shies away from, even asking girls out. Like, it's, it's- 'Cause he doesn't wanna be in the way. So when we nailed that down, you know, it was just getting to know him, asking him what, well, what happened in the meeting? Why didn't you speak up? What is this, you know? And I was able to get it, get this identified, this, this thing that, th- this internal structure is what I would call it, called I'm in the way. And, uh, once that was identified, it's funny 'cause he came back to me after the, you know, he started showing up more and, and, a- and he said, "Gosh, I had no idea that this is what coaching, how coaching was gonna help me. I thought you were gonna be hitting me about my numbers and making me run laps and da, da, da. And turned out to be this internal conversation. That's what freed me up, and now I'm in line for a junior partner." He said, "I could-- I would never have thought that that's how I'd get there."

Jake: That's so cool. You know what's so ironic? Is that he was in his own way.

Bill: Yeah, that's almost always the case.

Jake: Yeah. We gotta get our own-- get out of our own way.

Marty: Yeah.

Jake: that's awesome you got him to get that breakthrough. That's amazing.

Marty: Yeah, so I mean, the, so it sounds like part of the true us, the true any you, is, um, that we've got everything we need,

Jake: Yes.

Marty: We already, you know, got the beautiful place in the Caribbean and know how to fish and have a beautiful wife and friends to go out for a drink with, and yet we're in our own way. That is part of the true you, is that you're in your own way. There, there's nothing else in the way.

Jake: Right. Yeah, I totally, I totally agree. Absolutely.

Marty: It's kind of a conundrum though, you know? Like, wait a minute, why do we get created that way?

Bill: The...

Marty: That we...

Bill: do we? Do we get created that way? All right. So think we get ch- created as the true you,

Marty: Uh-huh. And I'm saying, I'm just saying the true you also involves internal obstacles.

Jake: Mm. Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, 'cause in, in any moment you can choose to be seeing what's lacking or what's, what's already there, what's grateful. I mean, that's what... Perfect example of that, I-I'm you haven't heard before, 'cause the Mexican fisherman parable. I mean, he's got everything he needs right there,

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Jake: finding more ways to be grateful and just appreciate things, it's just-- it's truly freeing. And finding ways to make it very easy for you to feel good as well.

Bill: It's amazing how powerful that is. I, uh, I am in year 11 of a daily gratitude, sh- uh, practice with a friend of mine who used to live, he used to live where I live and moved from the Northwest, Spokane, Washington, to, to Phoenix, Arizona. And, uh, w- at, uh, the last day that I talked to him while he was still here, I said, "You know, we should stay in, in touch." And he said, "Yeah, let's do that." And I realized, yeah gonna happen, not unless we have a plan. If we don't have a plan and we both commit to it, we're not gonna stay in touch, and I kinda wanna stay in touch with this guy. So I said, "Well, what, what would you think of, of, uh, a-- sharing gratitude with each other every day?" And we ended up using Marco Polo. At first, we were doing it via text, and then we used Marco Polo where we actually make videos now. And we list

Jake: cool.

Bill: five things that we're grateful for every single day. and I've missed a few days. He's missed maybe a day or two in that time, but 11 years running now, practically every day, five things that I'm grateful for, and I think it has really moved the needle.

Marty: That's amazing.

Jake: Yeah. That, that is amazing, and I, I'm not surprised by that, honestly. I mean, I learned this maybe it's three years ago now, but I basically don't have bad days. I learned it from this guy, Jeffrey Holtz, where he had this amazing mindset I had on my podcast, where since he was 17, he developed this thing where doesn't have bad days. And so every morning I look in the mirror and I say, "Today's a good day. Today's a good day.

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Jake: a good day." And to find out a couple years later or whatever, there's, there's science on it and people are saying in different a- areas, and it's like, oh, no, no surprise, this stuff actually works. Now I'm not having an amazing day. Bad things do happen to me, but it creates this baseline of contentment that

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Jake: it makes you see things more beautifully. It makes you really appreciate things. And other times where I'd be stuck laying in bed or sad or depressed, I can still keep going.

Marty: Yeah.

Jake: so

Marty: Yeah.

Jake: is amazing you do that, uh, gratefulness

Marty: So

Jake: practice.

Marty: it's about where you put your attention. I mean, you

Jake: Yes.

Marty: you could get up and drool over-- or not drool, but like get depressed about the news, read the news first thing and just like, "Oh my God, this world, how awful." You know? And then, you know, look at yourself in the mirror and critique your own body. And you could, you could fill your attention for the whole day with things that... Or you could get up and be grateful, tell yourself it's gonna be a good day, look at the fun things you get to do. You know, like it, it's all about what I hear you guys saying, I'm trying to summarize what I just heard, is it's about where you put your attention.

Jake: Yes. Yeah, Yes. Yeah, and routine. I set up ways where it's very hard for me not to feel motivated or get momentum. So first thing in the day I feed my dog and I do my, I call them incantations versus affirmations. I don't say, "Today's a good day," in the mirror. I say, "Today's a good day. Today's a good day. Today's a good day." And then I take him for a walk. a short exercise called foundation training on YouTube. It's YouTube, it's 12 minutes. Do Tony Robbins priming, all before I do anything else, before I even look at my phone.

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Jake: that's almost an hour of no phone time before I start. And so then I'm, I'm primed, ready to go for the day.

Marty: Yeah.

Jake: then maybe do some short exercise afterwards where I listen to, I'll come YouTube mo- motivational speeches, right? So even if you're not motivated after a half hour, 45 minutes of just getting, hearing these things, it's the routine. Or if I'm already motivated, I'm just like, "Let's go." But developing these habits to where if you're doing an hour, hour and a half every day of things you know that usually work for you, they're inspiring, whether it's a different video or routine or what- whatever you do, just make yourself do those things. It's like if you have a cold engine certain days, you're power starting it. And so just you make it-- make that engine go to where you're, you're not waiting for motivation, inspiration. You develop the system, the way to get the engine going.

Marty: So it sounds like then part of the routine needs to be having somebody who helps you see where you're putting your attention on, on negativity and, and attend to those things. You know, not, not just ignore them like,

Jake: Yeah.

Marty: you did, you know, with your client and I did with mine, um, in our examples. Like, we showed them, you know, the, the, uh, where the idea came from that they were d- using to disempower themselves and, and they got to attend to that and make life work, um, with it as opposed to, you know, just ig- ignoring it. So it's-- What I'm saying is it sounds like part of a p- a, a powerful routine is to have a time to look at those, so we have time to be motivated, and we have also time to look at what's dismotivate or unmotivating us so that that can be healed or relieved.

Jake: Absolutely. I-- That's one of the biggest advantage of having a coach is to see blind spots. So I think a lot of stuff with my dirt bikes we c- can compare to engines. So with like a coach, it's like, oh, my, my engine's like... Something's wrong with it. Something's running slow. And a coach would be like, "Oh yeah, look, your air filter's clogged," a, a rag found- fell down in your engine. Let's, let's

Marty: Yeah,

Jake: that out of there."

Marty: I think-

Jake: no surprise, running a lot better. You can breathe. You can get through that now. All that weight is lifted off of you.

Marty: Yeah.

Jake: rid of all the gunk

Marty: Exactly.

Jake: those blind spots and- observe those things that we're not aware of our own blind spots. That's why they're called spots.

Bill: Mm-hmm.

Marty: yeah. No, Bill has actually pulled a couple rags out of my engine many times. I, I, I think you even used, used one of them, the recording of it as ins- instruction in your training. Is that still true?

Bill: Oh, I don't recall. You might have to remind me more about that.

Marty: I... Was a time when I, I, I felt stuck because I couldn't be-- I felt like I couldn't be my creative self.

Bill: Yeah.

Marty: you took me way back to, uh, being a young kid and, you know, my parents, especially my dad, not appreciating the, you know, the, my train set set up, the, uh, and it all worked, and the, the go-kart that I built, you know, out of scrap lumber in the, in the alley. And, and, and, uh, and once I saw that, I, I really, I shed a number of tears that day. It was, like, quite a breakthrough for me to pull that rag out and see like, "Oh, that's what's got me stuck here."

Bill: to answer your question, no, I'm, I'm not using that to-- for any training anymore, but thanks for reminding me of the session. That was very powerful.

Marty: It was very powerful, and it was exactly, you know, what Jake was just describing.

Bill: Right. Yeah. Yeah. Jake, you're working with your clients, what do you find challenging?

Jake: Hmm. I guess what, what can be challenging is, well, one, finding people that want to help themselves. And so I like to make sure if I'm working with someone, they, they really-- they're re- really ready to make a change, which is usually related to pain. People will pay for coaching or they're re- really ready to make a change when something is really painful in their life. If they're a 6 out of 10 in a certain area of their life where like, "Oh, the job's, you know, it's not so bad, you know. There's, there's some things." Or a relationship, "Yeah, no, you know, they're kinda mean to me, but like they're, they're nice other times." That can be a, that can, that can be a lot harder to get people to move

Bill: Mm-hmm.

Jake: if someone is in 10 out of 10 pain, they're like, "Okay," like, "cut the leg off. I, I don't care." You know,

Bill: Right.

Jake: if your is, we'll say Better, or you think it's better. If the client doesn't come up with the idea on their own, they usually are not gonna act on it. And so it's different to get people to come up with their own idea to fix a solution. But again, it's that kind of counterintuitive thing to where the coaching isn't gonna work typically if people don't pay for it, just like if they don't come up with the only idea, the idea of the solution to themselves, they may not necessarily implement it.

Marty: I think

Jake: if I'm

Marty: there goes the help thing, by the way, but...

Jake: Yeah. Yeah, it's like if You compare it to working out, you know, If someone's like, "Oh, I wanna get a six-pack." I'm like, I'm thinking like, okay, they need to do an ab roller, Right. But then they're like, "I think I, I just need to do some crunches." I'm like, "You're right. You should just do some crunches." it's gonna be the, the same thing, but because they came up with the idea of doing crunches, gonna actually do the crunches.

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Jake: gonna use the ab roller just because they didn't come up with the idea.

Marty: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Bill: Yeah, and actually people don't wanna be told what to do. I don't.

Jake: Yeah. Yeah, it's very true.

Bill: Right.

Marty: So, so what is the trick? Or it maybe not. I don't wanna put it like there's a trick. What, what are s- what are s- what are some of the ways... And I'm thinking about this as I'm asking the question because I do the same thing, but I've n- uh, but I'm, I haven't stopped to think about how is it that I get them to come up with the solution themselves? And 90% of the time it is what I was thinking of, but they need to come up with it. How do we do that as coaches?

Jake: I think there's lots of different ways. So people comfortable with who you are as a coach. So understanding that, know, when I'm talking to you, I have your best intention.

Marty: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Jake: I, love you, I care about you, I want what's best for you. I'm really making you feel seen and heard and, and not judging you. People are then already in a good space. Then it depends what they're dealing with. So say someone in their life, a coworker, is really causing them problems. They're really getting at them. They know what to say to them, you know? a technique called button pushing to where you basically think of there's, there's, there's a button, someone is pushing it, you know? And what I can tell the client is, well, just imagine snipping the wires to the button.

Marty: Hmm.

Jake: And so that can be very freeing 'cause like someone-- they can push the button all, all they want, and they're like, "Oh, well, button doesn't work."

Marty: great. Yeah. Imagery.

Jake: so,

Marty: Imagery.

Jake: Yep, and so that, that's, that's one technique or

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Jake: Reframing is a lot of big things,

Marty: Yes.

Jake: a big thing in coaching. So usually taking a thought that is not very empowering getting them to imagine a more powerful thought. And usually the thought they come up with then too, then it sticks with them. And they might have to do it a couple times, and they, they think of a thought where they're like... I'll use an example. I was talking to, they founder-- Most people feel like this as founders, they feel like they're on a hamster wheel, and so like a hamster and just running, on the hamster wheel, right? But I asked them what a more empowerful, more empowering thought would be, and they came up with they're like a hamster in a convertible, like cruising through life. And I'm like, "All right, cool." You know? And so, but that worked for them, you know? And, and that's how they thought of it. They're like, "You know what? I'm still getting stuff done." But you don't have to have this, this sense that a lot of founders feel like it's this constant low-level stress just... And that just bzz, just always kind of there, where you can realize it's there, but you kinda can drown it out.

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Jake: And like,

Marty: that's...

Jake: this, this constant stress is always gonna be there, but it doesn't have to be right in front of your face. It can be there, but kind of more in your periphery versus right in front of you.

Marty: Yeah. Yeah. No, that's good because then the mind automatically goes to work like, "Well, what, what do I need to change in order to be a hamster dri- cruising around town in, you know, in a beautiful car as opposed to running the wheel? Well, oh, uh, that would mean that I would need to, you know, do X, Y, and Z to change that." That's, that's beautiful. Well done.

Bill: that idea reminds me of our brilliant fellow coach, Paula, that's in our coaching excellence team that meets on Friday mornings.

Marty: Yeah.

Bill: were-- We-- So Jake, we have, uh, roughly 30 minutes out of, out of an hour every Friday morning, uh, where we share our wins and gratitudes, and then we shift to who's got a challenge. And there's five, five coaches in the group, and so we'll pick one or maybe even two of the g- coaches that, that have challenges, and, and then we'll try to coach them and help them through their challenge. And I don't recall exactly what the challenge was, but, but it seemed to me that it was a challenge faced by the entire group, like an administrative coordination so- sort of thing. were kind of at, at, at, at, o- at, odds with each other. And, um, Paula introduced this idea that we-- person could come up with an idea, and they would present it in this way: "Well, what if we did blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?" And then the next person would take that and say, "You know, here's what I like about that idea. And what if we, we built on that and did this too?" And then the next person in line does exactly the same thing. And what we noticed was it, it worked beautifully. We just continued to kinda climb on the shoulders of the person with the idea and build and build and build and build, and pretty soon we, we had a unified vision of what we wanted to do as a solution. And I just thought it was an amazing... And I've used it a lot since then with clients and in groups.

Jake: Hmm. That's very cool. It makes me think of, uh, I went to, like, an improv class just, just for fun. I love comedy and stuff like that. And it was related to coaching too, because a lot of it, it-- you do this concept, it's like, "Yes, and..."

Bill: Yes.

Jake: you basically agree, like, and then build on top of it.

Bill: Exactly.

Marty: and roller.

Jake: Right. Yeah, I like her idea. And let's do this. Also, it made me think about energy a lot because

Marty: Hmm.

Jake: improv, it wasn't always the actual, like, words coming out that were the funniest, it was the person's energy. And so

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Jake: getting your energy level the highest level you can is gonna make everything in your life so much more successful. So I think focusing on your energy level, what's its endurance, the impact you're gonna have on people, it's such an important focus.

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Bill: Now, if we run that idea through the idea of, of being true self, um, being who I really am,

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Bill: and we pointed to this at a couple times in this conversation already that, that when, when I'm being who I really am, I'm energized A-and, and so it's, it, it's not as simple as just turning the knob to, oh, my facade to my true self.

Marty: mm-hmm.

Bill: but there certainly is a noticing. I mean, I could look at a gauge and, and notice how I feel, and if I'm, and if I'm feeling in the low energy stage, um, a g- a good question might be, am I in my facade? Or is something up that I'm not addressing that needs to be addressed? so if I'm in m- my facade, I might be able to just intentionally shift from, "Oh, well, I'm-- I don't need to be doing that anymore. I don't need to be trying to get somebody's approval. I'm just gonna show up as who I actually am this moment." And guaranteed, if I can pull that off, my energy's gonna boost. opposed to, the idea that I need to go fum- somehow generate a bunch of energy and then just bring it. Uh, it,

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Bill: That's effortful and it's exhausting. Have you noticed? And whereas just being who I am, if that brings energy, that actually generates more energy.

Marty: Yes.

Bill: itself.

Marty: Mm-hmm. And

Jake: Yeah.

Marty: and it's pure, and it's totally sustainable because I, I, I don't have to do anything else to be me.

Jake: Yeah. No, I, I totally agree. Yeah. I'm not saying you should, uh, exercise or do energy drinks or different, or different things. can do those things if it's aligned with what's who you are. Like, I love to exercise, it just also happens to increase my energy.

Bill: Mm-hmm.

Jake: if that's not who you are, then, like, I mean, it just depends on the type of exercise, but I, I'm not a tennis player, but playing tennis might actually in a way kind of drain

Marty: Yeah.

Jake: ' cause like I don't, I don't wanna, I don't wanna do this. You know what

Bill: if you're not

Jake: energizing to me

Bill: it. Yeah.

Jake: this is the type of cardio I wanna do and like, oh, I could do that every day. But running every day, like,

Bill: These are some great examples, and I think that they can be applied business, to relationships. In fact, I wanna mention that I was, uh, 50, 55 years old before I became a coach, and prior to that, I had five careers. And while there were highlights in each of those careers and things that I enjoyed about... Well, I shouldn't say each of them. There were, there were jo- careers that I endured and never enjoyed. Uh, but, but for example, I was in the grocery business for 21 years in retail grocery, and I would say in those 21 years, I enjoyed about half of them, and I suffered through the other half. I'd never had a career, though, that, that where I could consistently say, "Boy, this is me. This is what I wanna be doing. This, I love this," I became a coach.

Marty: Hey.

Bill: And even in the most challenging days me in the, in the past, um, it's been 15 years now. Over the past 15 years, the, even the most challenging days, losing clients, having upset clients, uh, not having enough business, being worried if I could sustain it, all of those, I never lost my passion and love for coaching.

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Bill: built. It's only gotten stronger, and it's energizing. It's only my fears and my worries that, that rob me of that, of that energy.

Jake: you think that has been

Bill: and all, what all that is, Well, I'll put it this way because this is the way I've learned to speak now. Parts of myself that have concerns that it's my responsibility to address.

Marty: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Jake: the grocery business?

Bill: Well, for one thing, and I just was talking to a client this morning about this, I can't work for other people. I did it for a long time. I started working when I was 15 years old, so I did it for 40 years, and I found it very difficult to, to do it their way. Anytime that I lost my autonomy and my choice, the energy just dropped, and then I had to kind of force myself to, to, to be who I needed to be to make myself do what I didn't wanna do. As

Marty: Sounds hilarious.

Bill: as a coach, I, I have stan- stood firmly in the awareness that I, I'm doing what I wanna do. Even when things are difficult, I'm still doing it, and I'm clear about why I'm doing it. I'm

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Bill: doing what I'm doing because I wanna be doing it. Even though there are aspects maybe of it that I'm not enjoying, risks Spending money that may not r- uh, bring a return on investment on, on let's say marketing, for example, or on software or, or things that are supposed to be helping. Hiring help, as you mentioned earlier, I did that. And, uh, it scared, scared me to death to, to do so. t-to commit to spending X number of dollars every month and, and getting some help and wondering, was she gonna work out okay? I can tell you it worked out great. I've had her for three years now, and, and she's worth every penny that I, that I pay her. Uh, just knowing and recognizing, I'd say, you know, being grateful for the freedom and the autonomy that I found for myself, being grateful f-for finding the profession that I was born to, to, to, to do, to, to, to have, and, and recognizing always that I'm in choice. I choose this.

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Jake: Well, that's awesome. I, I love that and I don't know if you feel this way, but one of the things I love about coaching and my whole purpose is, is to be here to help others. When your life is focused on other people, and I think the number one thing that's the most important thing in life is our relationships. And when your life is focused on helping others, there's no end to that growth.

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Jake: on, on yourself and me and my problems and, and what's going on. when it comes to an intimate relationship. Tony Robbins says this, you know, if you're only just focused you in your relationship, you don't have a relationship. have a re- you have a relationship with yourself. And so when the more the focus you are on others, you're not, you're not suffering. You sit and by yourself and, and just think about you, you suffer. so when you're thinking about helping others, that's why coaching. I don't-- Again, I don't know if you feel this way, but I focus on others and helping others and doing things, it's creates gas for that engine and it's, it, it's always gonna be running, you know? And why I have a hard time shutting it off.

Bill: Yeah, me too. Me too.

Marty: I

Jake: But-

Marty: totally agree. It's one of the things when people-- uh, 'cause I had a different career. I was an academic. I did a lot of thinking about myself,

Jake: Sure.

Marty: And, um, when I discovered coaching, I'm like, "Oh my God, it-- th- I could do this all day long," because I'm, I'm not in, you know, internally working, you know, on... It's like I'm, I'm... And so my mind is, is clear and, and there's, there's an ecstasy to that, you know? Because I'm, I'm just there for, for the client. And yeah, it's totally energizing. It's funny, I, I... A guy that I was partnering with in a coaching company at my beginning of my career, he used to find coaching brought his energy way down. And I was like, "Well, I don't think you should be a coach," because for me, it's uplifting like nothing else.

Jake: Hmm.

Bill: Yep

Jake: especially if you can get someone who is just like, just like, like, has so much weight something,

Marty: Mm-hmm.

Jake: shoulders and a limiting belief. When you get the, that off of them, you can like, oh, like you can feel it. There's like a, their, their release of energy. You can feel it. There's, there's, I don't know what it is, but there's something to it. Like everyone's just like, "Did you feel that?" Like there's some sort of like eupho- eu- euphoric feeling just like, this feels, it feels so, it's so, good. I, I don't know what that is, but

Bill: I'll tell you what I think it is, and, and I don't know if you'll find this helpful or not, but in, in the internal family systems model, we refer to that as Self energy, capital S, Self energy.

Marty: so

Bill: We all have it, and, and when we're all tapped into it, even to a, a small degree, we feel the connection.

Marty: true.

Bill: think, I think this is this conversation that we're just now beginning to need to wrap up that we had today, it took a while for us to have the Self energy in this conversation. We were just finding our way to it. And I would say probably in the last 15 or 20 minutes, it's there. and, you

Marty: Oh,

Bill: I'm sure. You

Marty: yeah.

Bill: it Marty. Something shifted. I don't know what happened, but, but it-- we all just kind of relaxed a little

Marty: Yeah.

Bill: and, and, and it showed up, and I think that's what you're talking about is Self energy. And

Marty: So

Bill: it's, it's...

Marty: we, before we go, I think that's totally accurate. Um, if somebody wanted to get some of that energy talking to you, Jake, how would they get in touch with you?

Jake: I got, I got all the

Bill: And

Jake: lot of different ways. So I'm biggest on Instagram. If you go to Jake Paul Turner or you search YouTube, Apple, or Spotify, Jake Turner Podcast, just send me a DM, uh, And especially on Instagram, I check all my DMs. We can have a conversation and have a quick, uh, 15, 30-minute call, see how I can help. So I typically just run people what it's like to coach with me, uh, as long as they're motivated and they're ready to invest in themselves, we move forward. So yeah, all those different ways. Love

Marty: Hey, Paul Turner.

Jake: Jake Paul Turner, correct. Yeah, on Instagram and then Jake Turner Podcast on YouTube.

Marty: Thanks for being here today. It was a lot of fun.

Bill: It was.

Jake: yeah. I, I feel like it just flew by. I'm

Marty: I

Bill: did.

Marty: know.

Bill: Yeah. We're almost, uh, what? Fifty-five minutes into it now. It's amazing how quickly time

Marty: Maybe we'll have to do it again sometime.

Jake: Yeah. Yeah, or, or one of you guys, uh, wanna come to the podcast, uh, come to Nashville so we'll, uh,

Marty: Okay.

Jake: uh, do it in person. I, uh, I usually coach someone on my podcast, so, so you... One of you guys would get some, uh, some free coaching. That'd be fun as

Bill: No, we can actually bring you back here, and you can coach one of us, too.

Jake: Yeah. Yeah, that sounds fun.

Bill: All right. Well, thanks for joining us, Jake.

Jake: Yep, it's been my pleasure