On Being Neurodivergent with Morgan Monte

Morgan: Writing a book is hard, writing a book with another person is harder, writing a book with five people, living in three different countries, spending multiple time zones, representing many different identities, raised in several generations, and having more, than one neurotype, and providing perspective from vast lis- life experiences is nearly impossible, but we did it.

Morgan: I became very familiar with my, I don't belong because I'm different part when blended, would withdraw from commenting and sometimes even wanted to leave the project altogether.

Morgan: with all parties putting an effort to understand and accommodate each other. Despite several sizable rush- ruptures, the self-energy of the group held the space and allowed everyone to complete the process as a cohesive unit.

Bill: Welcome back to the True You Podcast. My name is Bill Tierney. My co-host is Dr. Martin Kettle Marty, and we have a special guest today with us Morgan Monte. You wanna say hello Morgan

Morgan: Hi.

Bill: and you have a friend with you. You wanna introduce your friend?

Morgan: yeah, my dog Finn he wandered over there, but he might be back,

Bill: I'll be back. So we'll see. Finn, for those that are actually watching and listening, you're gonna see Finn. What kind of dog is Finn?

Morgan: He's a Labradoodle.

Bill: How long have you had? How long have you had Finn

Morgan: six and a half years.

Bill: and was he a puppy when you got him?

Morgan: He was three months, so

Bill: Yeah,

Morgan: kind of,

Bill: I know he's, I know he's really important to you. I think every time I've been on Zoom with you, Finn has been right there. Yeah. asked Morgan to be on the podcast with us today because she is one of the authors. Of the parts work guidebook, Morgan and I and three other authors created the Parts, parts Work guidebook. It's been released in the Kendall version. As of this recording, we really hope that it'll be released in the paperback and then shortly after that, the audio version and and so we'll talk more about the book and about the experience of writing the book. And that's really the reason to move. Wanted to have Morgan on today? Lemme introduce her according to her, to the bio that she provided. She's an IFS Internal Family Systems level three practitioner, a co-author of the Parts work guidebook, as I just mentioned, and a long time parts work practice volunteer. And so for those that don't know what parts work practices, it's 75 minute session that meets four times, six times a month now, to practice the Internal Family Systems model. So welcome Morgan.

Morgan: good to be here.

Marty: Where are you squad casting in from?

Morgan: from Michigan.

Marty: Ah, what part of Michigan.

Morgan: It's the middle part. It's Mount Pleasant, so it's much in the center of the

Marty: I see.

Morgan: Yeah.

Marty: Okay. Very good. My grandmother's from Michigan, but the little bitty part up in the north.

Morgan: Yeah.

Bill: are you getting the benefit of any of the national NCAA Men's Basketball Championship? Kudos.

Morgan: I'm gonna say this on a podcast. I am a lifetime, literally, from Birth Michigan State fan, so it's very difficult..

Marty: Nice.

Bill: I see. Yeah. Got it. just because you're from the same state, there's no pride for you. In fact it's painful.

Morgan: Yes.

Bill: Yeah. Sorry to hear that. Michigan beat my Gonzaga Bulldogs early in the year and humiliated them. So in a way I was happy to see them win. Just to show just what a great team they are and, 'cause I really liked them, the Bulldogs and they humiliated him, beat 'em like by 40 points or so. But we're not here to talk about basketball. Marty asked where you are, Marty. You are where?

Marty: I'm in Mexico right now

Bill: For another week.

Marty: for another month.

Bill: Oh, for another

Marty: Yeah. I live in Colorado, but I spend winters someplace warmer. I'm not a cold weather person.

Bill: And I'll be flying. So Marty's gonna be flying back home to Colorado and I'll be flying to Colorado, Denver to visit with him and a couple of more of our mutual friends, coaches,

Marty: That'll.

Bill: and I'm in, in the state of Washington. Yeah, really looking forward to that. I'm in the state of Washington, northwest corner of the country. So Morgan let's talk about. Your relationship to IFS and the model and what's imp what was important and interesting to you about writing the book? one, one of the things that you put in the information that you provided us when we invited you to the podcast was reference to your neurodivergence. And I'd kinda like to know about that. That's a pretty general question, but can you share more with our listener about your neuro neurodivergence?

Morgan: I guess, yeah telling of that is, it is very broad question. So I'm not really sure where to

Bill: Yeah, so that's good to help me. Help me to ask a better question then, based on, what you need from me, how could I ask a better question?

Morgan: I know in some of the potential questions either if you're wondering how it was for me when I was little or coming into just embracing neurodivergence or within the context of writing the workbook or within work or

Bill: That's very helpful. Thank you. So when did, how about this, when did you first realize that you were, what you now think of as neurodivergent?

Morgan: When I was in elementary school, I just, I noticed I was different, that I didn't catch on sometimes to some of the social stuff, mostly like when people were being sarcastic or not so nice, but pretending to be nice, things like that. And sometimes I just understand why people got frustrated because I didn't understand something and "I'm doing what you told me. And I've now done a lot of reading and things like that, I realize it's just a difference in interpretation. The words literally, but a lot of times there's context that is meant and not said. so sometimes it's I guess difficult to know what exactly to do in certain situations.

Marty: I see. Mm-hmm.

Bill: Yeah. Yeah. And Marty, please come in anytime you want to. I'm just gonna continue the conversation unless you wanna jump in.

Marty: as a little girl then, did you ask for help or, or how did, how did you come to like, have a concept about it?

Morgan: Yeah. I guess I didn't really ... as a girl, I was very shy, extremely. Nobody can believe that now. And so I didn't really, I didn't really honestly know to ask for help. And I, as one of those kids, I was really good in school, got good grades. At that time, I could focus and do work and really succeed in that area. I think ... when I was in high school I got asked to babysit for a neighbor who had an autistic child and like it just makes sense. Like I could see myself really, like I understood their daughters so much more than I understand other people,

Marty: Wow.

Morgan: that throughout ... where else would it be like challenging or different?

Marty: Yeah, exactly. Like where you, those people, they, they, they don't get how different the world feels to me.

Morgan: Yeah, I actually just watched a reel the other day that I explained sometimes it work perfectly in meetings with people at my level at the management level and it's people coming in who are neurotypical that have all the context and me hearing things and being like wait, it's not a simple answer. What about this? What about this? What about this? And I think I see a lot of the mismatch where people are like, "Why are you asking about that? " Or of course, or even "Oh, I didn't think about that. Why is that important?" And in my mind, it's that's a detail and it's relevant."

Marty: See. Uh, got it.

Bill: I'm wondering if maybe because. We've had, you and I Morgan, a lot of experience together of the mismatch or the disconnect, the misalignment between a, apparently I'm somewhat neurotypical a neurodiverse person. I, let's say it this way. Our you and I aren't neuro neurotypical. We aren't neurologically matched. Is that a way to say it?

Morgan: it can be, I think I know where you're going with it because we both are very different and I think people ... neurodivergent, neurotypical along the spectrum, people are different, right? There's no mold. So I think, yeah, definitely not matched sometimes in understanding ... Yes.

Bill: Yes.

Morgan: was

Bill: Do you

Marty: I.

Bill: like,

Morgan: Yeah. See, that's another thing. Like you asked me a question, I answered it. So now, okay, you would like me to talk about it. I think it's just yeah, different styles and I've learned to and, worked with my parts and tried to figure it out part, what bothers my system and it's just, yeah, it's different pacing or different like I was describing before. I d- don't understand. I think I'm answering your question, but maybe I don't see it that way. And then my answer doesn't align with your question because that wasn't your question. Is that how you would describe it?

Bill: Yeah, and I can remember we had a couple of breakthroughs over the course of the three plus years that we worked together on this book with the other three authors, and the breakthroughs came when was quite a breakdown. Where there was frustration, impatience, misunderstanding and disconnection. And and then you would speak up and you would just let me and everyone else understand that you were viewing the experience that we were all having together through a much different lens than the rest of us were. And then you helped us to understand those differences. And one of the times that I remember you pointing that out was one of us had been sarcastic, and I noticed on the screen that sarcasm was really appreciated and enjoyed by everybody except you. And it wasn't that you were, at first, I thought Morgan's unhappy about this for some reason, I don't understand why she's unhappy but I realized with your help. That it wasn't, that you weren't unhappy other than it created some extra tension and stress for you you didn't, you were trying, you were working really hard over there to understand why everybody was laughing. It didn't, it wasn't funny to you.

Morgan: Yes.

Bill: just didn't understand the humor.

Morgan: I think that's a good distinction too. Sometimes I don't understand. I'm like, "Are they being sarcastic?" And obviously I've played along sometimes when I really get what you're doing. And other times I just, yeah, didn't find the humor, and it's not that it wasn't funny, it was just literal. It's okay.

Bill: it wasn't funny to you because of that lens you were hearing. Through an unfiltered filter. You had a pretty, you were just hearing the words, interpreting what they meant and there was no humor in that. But the innuendo the, a lot of times the sarcasm as you're, as you, as my student, you're learning and I'm, that's sarcasm right there. You asked me to teach you about sarcasm.

Morgan: I remember I did though, didn't I?

Bill: Yeah.

Morgan: Yeah. Okay.

Bill: can you, can you help me to understand sarcasm?

Marty: Wow. Huh.

Bill: Yeah. And so I took that on. I enjoyed it. How about you?

Morgan: I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah, and that was, I'll put a note for the podcast. It was the second time I had a friend, late middle school, high school, who was the first one that teached me about sarcasm. So this was, like, the adult version of

Marty: Wow.

Morgan: adults are being sarcastic, not kids teach- teasing each other okay.

Bill: So what did you, would you mind helping me to understand, so what was helpful? What did you learn about it? And was it helpful even to learn about sarcasm?

Morgan: honestly I don't have a lot of memories. I don't know spec- broad, I think that's part of my brain too. I can remember certain points of time and certain details, but, like, how was

Bill: Yeah.

Morgan: time? No idea.

Bill: Yeah.

Morgan: helpful with our dynamic though. It was definitely helpful with that and just getting to know people. Some people are more sarcastic, some people are more serious, and how do you read that specific person? I feel like a lot of the misinterpretation is that neurodivergents don't understand, and that could be some of it, or misreading it, but a lot of it, too, is, ... I just lost my thought. We understand, but it's just I understand how people can be different. It's just the switching or the adapting to each person, maybe. That was

Marty: It doesn't have,

Morgan: thought.

Marty: wouldn't have the same effect I would imagine. Like I heard what you said, but I, it like it doesn't have the same effect on me because I don't get that are there, I'd be curious to know, are there ways of doing humor or other things that you can do in your world that we don't get?

Morgan: what do you mean? ... Yes, I ... Yeah, I think so. I think I remember earlier on, I think Bill's "I don't know if you're trying to be funny," and I was trying to joke, but also be serious because it is also a skill that is hard for me. So I think a lot of that was misinterpreted too. Either if it was

Marty: I see.

Morgan: or trying to lighten things, I think things up or something, but, yeah.

Marty: Got it. Yeah.

Bill: Yeah. And there was the clash and it doesn't sound to me like. Please correct me if I'm not, if I'm not getting this right. But didn't seem to me that you were the one getting upset most of the time when there was a disconnect un, unless you just weren't expressing that, were you? Was that upsetting to you?

Morgan: Yes. Yeah, very. I

Bill: It was,

Morgan: yeah, it wasn't expression, and I wasn't ... if, you want me to be, like, honest in podcasts,

Bill: yes, please.

Morgan: I think what was hard about it is I didn't understand how to express it, because when I tried, there was a lot of trying to figure out the container of the group versus we need to use IFS to get through this, and I thought I was doing that, but you did The group as a whole, I think, interpreted it differently, and I did not figure that out for a while. I need to talk about this and address this and work through this, but then when I feel like I it was misread or something is not to

Bill: Yeah.

Morgan: bad, it's just the ... Yeah.

Bill: just a reflection of the disconnect. Like it, it was almost as if we were using the same language, but the meaning behind the words wasn't landing either from you or from us to you.

Marty: I'm very curious, uh, and I could save this question for later if you if I'm interrupting the flow of where you wanna go right now. But IFS itself, this, the system must lend itself to. Neurodivergence like it, it's not, I would imagine there are some systems of thinking or human discovery or, or that, that are, would be difficult for people with some sort of neurodivergence and yet you're an expert at it. So I find that fascinating that 'cause it goes so deep, there's so much to learn. It's a whole, world of discovery available through IFS and, and yet you're adept data. It doesn't, your neurodivergence doesn't get in the way of that. And I find that fascinating.

Morgan: Yeah. First of all, I would just clarify, I don't see myself as an expert at all. A lot of people who are neurodivergent have really specific areas that they're completely interested in and psychology and later IFS is mine. So I love ... my time off, I'll watch webinars and stuff too. Yeah, it And I've heard different ... Again, I'm not an expert that sometimes people that are neurodivergent just just "Okay, this is, this is what you say or this is how it is. " So I think sometimes, in some respects, I think people have an easier time with parts because they're like, "Oh, that makes sense. Okay." Not having that filter with this is crazy or, what, this is not how I thought about stuff. And this is not, again, speaking for every single person, but I've heard that. And I guess I'm also curious, from your question what, I don't know, what your lens and how, why you're surprised that it was so easy for me?

Marty: Well, you were just hitting on it. Thank you for asking that. Um, I, I would sometimes when I'm being worked with. Like in a session with Bill, for example, or somebody else. I feel like if I take it too, literally, it doesn't work. Like I have to kind of use my imagination. I have to be creative. I have to, I have to let go of the, the more mundane world in order to get in there and see these guys as parts, you know, and play with them in the proper way. And so I was thinking that that non-literal. And maybe now I'm just exposing that I don't, that I don't, I don't know.

Morgan: Yeah.

Marty: does that make sense?

Morgan: it, yeah, it makes sense. And I think that's one of two everybody's different, right? I am, again, I'm very creative. I've written stories just, when I was little, I had this entire world that I thought I belonged to in my head being, like, super creative. I'm like, I don't know how I ever made that up. So it's not really a one size fits all. It's not like being literal isn't same thing as not being able to have an imagination.

Marty: I see. That makes sense. I gotcha. Yeah. Yeah, I, I didn't, I'm just the, it's new to me and so I'm just figuring out what, what it must be like for you. That's what I'm just trying to understand, and and so, yeah, that it, it, I think it's, it speaks very highly of IFS too, you know, like that people with all different sort of neurology can use it, so, so adeptly.

Morgan: Yeah.

Bill: I wonder I love the direction we're going here. I hadn't really thought about that. I know that you're level three trained through the IFS Institute. Meaning that you went through the basic training, the advanced training, and then a specialized training all the way up to level three and many of us haven't gotten that far. I'm not level three trained. I'm level two. Wonder how was the experience for you going through these trainings? Did you find it useful or was it challenging in any way?

Morgan: I think ... actually, through all three of them, one of the most challenging things is just I have a part that dealts myself, doesn't have a lot of not necessarily self-esteem, but a lot of it thinks I can't do this, it thinks I'm less, it thinks that everybody's thinking things about me. I think that w- that was the most influential part. It wasn't necessarily how I think about things because, I guess my take on IFS too is it, you trust the client system, right? So the, however they interpret it, their system's interpreting it in the way that makes sense to them. it wasn't so much about that and also I'm really good at protocols. I don't use it so much anymore because that's more parts led, but this is how these are the things you need to touch on. These are the kind of questions you need to ask in my brain that makes sense. And it's okay. It's mostly the performance anxiety and the anxiety of they're gonna think I know nothing and not pass me or something.

Marty: I

Morgan: Yeah.

Bill: Concerned about what other people think of you

Morgan: Yeah.

Bill: cases.

Morgan: Yeah. That and especially the people that are gonna evaluate me or whatever, the people that know this stuff and, yeah.

Bill: So do you refer to your neurodivergence as autism?

Morgan: Not quite there yet. I would, but also and I've done some reading and this is also an up and coming thing in the age that I'm at, is there's a lot at play in my whole body, right? And I have so much trouble now just even at work so distracted or focused on tasks really well, but then I start something like 10 things and don't finish them. So there's a lot of that too, a lot of more of, like, when you think of the inattention or the part. and I've read some about how one can mask the other until one, and I try to think back in my life, again, I don't have a lot of memories that if that was ever there previously or if it's something new. So I haven't figured that out yet, but ... Yes. And wanna say first, and I'm glad you brought this up, because I wasn't gonna say anything, but when you said that, I'm like, "It took you this long." because I think people, and this is a thing that have neurodivergence can recognize it and other people are like, "Oh, yeah." And again, it's yeah, that's totally ... yeah, I think the fitting in is the thing.

Bill: only

Morgan: What?

Bill: it only took 70 years. Come.

Morgan: No. But yeah that's typical too of I got this focus, I love it, I'm gonna spend all my time and do really well, and that's part of my problem at work now, too. It's this so I just forget it

Bill: Yeah.

Morgan: effort to get started on things that they could be really simple to complete, but it's just that extra effort to, to find the motivation.

Marty: Hmm.

Bill: now in, in the, like in the coaching world, client comes and explains that's what they're up against in their life. Let's just say might be pretty easy to say, okay, let's get, let's get interested in this procrastination habit of yours, or some, I'm not saying that I would say it that way but it'd be pretty easy just to perceive what you just now said and label it as procrastination. Have you ever done that?

Morgan: I think other people have, and then it c- it trickles down, right? So it's man, like, why can't I do this? Am I just lazy? And then the more I found out about other people, it's there's something that makes me have to try 10 times harder, that's the disconnect, I think, yeah.

Bill: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's it's confusing and frustrating because it doesn't really address anything. It just labels it. Like we, okay, so you're a procrastinator. Let's work on that. Let's have you take on different habits. Let's just have you break some bad habits. But what you and I both are saying here is we're not interested in it, it's, it takes more effort than we have really to be able to even put any focus and energy into it.

Marty: But I think there's something important about when the label is right. When it's correct, that's, that can be like, oh, now I know what to work on. Now that it's been correctly labeled, like I have a friend who has borderline personality disorder. Whole other thing we're not talking about today, but when she got diagnosed. She was like, oh, no wonder life has been this way to me. No wonder I have trouble with this. No wonder. And now, we can, she can work on that. And I was recently somebody labeled I struggle with my income and I started to talk about it with a friend and she diagnosed me, so to speak, as having a racket about money. And as soon as I saw that a racket is a, that's a term from landmark education. It means that you have a complaint about it and it influences your behavior on, on a regular basis. And I, and when she said that oh, wow, yeah, now I know how to work on this. I have a complaint about money. No wonder I have trouble making it. I have a complaint about. And so that was really helpful. So I think I just want to put that out there that sometimes the, if the label is right, it's great because then you know where to go to work

Bill: If it lands,

Marty: it lands.

Morgan: Yeah that definitely tracks if it's explained to me 20 times in the same way, and then somebody changes a word that means something different "Oh, I get it. " And the same with the tasks. I'm like, I had a lot of stuff done that was, like, just not signed. I'm like, "Why did I stop?" And in my mind, it's like this step, and it feels so overwhelming, and I do it, I'm like, "That took five minutes. Why did I wait three months?"

Marty: Uh.

Bill: Yeah. Oh, my mind is just going in two or three different directions now in terms of where we might go next. And Marty, did that complete on your curiosity in that area?

Marty: yes. Thank you.

Bill: Yeah. Anything, Morgan, that, that's on your mind that you hope we will talk about here today?

Morgan: it, can I share a thought on your experience that you shared about your ... Okay. I just had a thought too, like you were talking about like when I, you really like on a project you can really go and to me like in a parts language that's like parts using that hardware, maybe not a part of you, but that hardware to, in a way that's productive or in a way that, your goal at that moment. I don't know if that made sense, but ... For you, very familiar. We talk about

Bill: Yeah. Okay.

Morgan: and then an hour later, okay, there's my email. I just did that. I'm like, I think that too is some of the mismatch because my parts are like, they feel pressured then, which is totally me taking that on and not you in any way, like pressuring them, but they're like, "Whoa, that was fast. Holy cow, things are moving too fast." And then they shut down. But yeah I, with anything though, that's your project, I was like done. And I can see how that's really helpful.

Bill: and so now knowing this, every listener that's been listening knows this about me, and I'm gonna ask the listener now to imagine that three and a half years ago, Morgan and I, and Allison and Eileen and Nova started a project, and it's not done yet, and it's, it makes me crazy that it's not done yet. Does it make you crazy, Morgan, or is it going too fast or?

Morgan: when I signed up for this date, I was like, "Oh, it'll be out for a month. It'll be cool." Like I think, and some of it I do have some parts that are like feel, I don't know, maybe take on some of that blame, but I also have parts that are like, there's stuff that we, a team, literally couldn't move past until this step was done and this stuff was done and,

Bill: Cool.

Morgan: so

Bill: Yeah. Yeah, it was, it's not anybody's fault that it's taken this long. I certainly have parts that wanna blame lots of other people and blame myself. But the book is Parts Work Guidebook, this is the book we've been talking about. And I'm wondering, Morgan, how would be for you if I refer to one of or two of the things that you've written in the book?

Morgan: the book's available, so sure.

Bill: they're gonna read it anyhow.

Morgan: yeah, probably.

Bill: so there's a couple of things. What we learned while writing it, I thought would be really interesting to, to read some excerpts of, from what maybe you and I both wrote and comment on, one game we could play here is that I can read you, of my, I'll just read you mine. Mine's two short paragraphs and then, and you can respond to that. How's that to start with?

Morgan: Sure.

Bill: And Marty, you're gonna be able to recognize me in this as well. I think. During the process of writing this guidebook, there were times when our parts became activated. Now here's some sarcasm. Oh, really?

Morgan: I was thinking that too. I have the sarcasm. There's part there now.

Bill: There you go. Yeah. You're developing it. All right. So I'm so proud.

Morgan: That I cannot tell. If that was sarcasm or not, no clue. Maybe

Bill: That was just a fun thing to say. Was that sarcasm? No, I it was just a fun thing to say, given that you've asked me to teach you about sarcasm, that you were about to say the same thing, makes me feel proud.

Morgan: Yeah.

Bill: We experienced many upsets and frustrations when this happened. We had a choice. We could either let the activated parts take over and influence our process, sometimes threatening to end the project altogether. Let me just, let me comment about that. And there were times that I was ready to do that and that I did do that. That I let my parts just continue. I let them just go ahead and Hi hijack me. Or we could use the IFS model to support each other, to support the group, the project, and to repair the ruptures that occurred. And happy and proud to report that we did do that throughout the process. What do you think, Morgan? About what I just read.

Morgan: Yeah. And I think, I'll speak for myself, but generalize that we probably had all ti- all had times, because I've had several times too. I'm just, I'm so done. Yeah, I, when I think about that too, I think, again, I'm, I struggle with how to name things and re- guess request help working through them because I still feel like for me, I still feel different and those are my different parts, right? so it still feels like there's a disconnect. That's my system, but definitely, way more, way better. We've had some roadblocks and then we got it, the flows back, ...

Bill: yeah. Yeah. And we knew we had the flow back because we were laughing and we had fun, and that, that was made, what, to me made this whole project worthwhile was when we as a team were having fun. The last paragraph, shorter p paragraph is, and I just mentioned this, I have a get or done part that often became impatient when the process bogged down for one reason or another. When this part became activated, my energy shifted from cooperative to controlling, this triggered other writers. This triggered you when I got controlling, yeah. Do you have your book there? Do you wanna read your portion?

Morgan: I do Let's see. Can you give me a page number quick?

Bill: Yeah, go to page eight.

Morgan: Way past that. Okay. I hate ... By the way, I do hate reading what I've written or anybody else, so it really doesn't matter. So I can read it.

Bill: Would you prefer me to read it?

Morgan: can do it.

Bill: Okay.

Morgan: So this writing journey strengthened by skills at collaborating with individuals who have different mental processes. Throughout the three years, the project has aided my tandem journey of embracing all of my neurodig- near Oh, my goodness. Neurodivergent brain has to offer while recognizing how communication, when not aligned, can cause activated parts, and then in parentheses, because I like parentheses, which interestingly can otherwise be quite similar in both individuals. And if I wanna pause there, I think and I don't know how you perceive this, Bill, but I think we are, we have lots of different parts, but we are quite similar, I think in a lot of ways, also can make it harder. I don't know.

Marty: Interesting.

Bill: yeah. If we could pause there. How do you see us as similar?

Morgan: I see, you definitely, as soon as ... And again, if my part's, if I have the energy, which is part of it too if I see a mistake let's get it done, let's fix it now and things have to be, like, have to be done right, right? It has to look good, it has to flow, it has to be, no errors, and I think we're really similar in that way with that attention and that, those goals, I think.

Bill: I think that I agree, and I think that you have far greater attention to de to detail that than I do. have, because I, the combination of my get or done part and my perfectionist part ends up having imperfection, but the perfectionist part is so persistent that by the fourth or fifth or 10th time I've looked at it. If the perfectionist part is saying, see, you missed that were in such a hurry to me.

Marty: I noticed something else that you guys share.

Bill: What's that?

Marty: Big hearts. The space for each other and for other people that you help. You both have big hearts or we wouldn't be able to have this conversation.

Bill: That's true. Ah, that's a great thing to say and acknowledge. Thank you. Whenever you're ready, let's continue.

Morgan: I became f- very familiar with my, I don't belong because I'm different part when blended, would withdraw from commenting and sometimes even wanted to leave the project altogether. So that definitely I noticed the activation of that part. again, it's, we've used different names, meaning making, assuming intent is something I like to use. It's like, when I start interpreting what's going on, I'm like I'm different. They don't understand me. I don't understand this. " I just will be quiet because every time I speak up, it's misunderstood, which again is no, no parties fault. All right. And then I'm grateful to my co-authors for teaching me how to successfully navigate the social and communication structures of teamwork. Thank you for leaving the anper sand in there, with all parties putting an effort to understand and accommodate each other. Despite several sizable rush- ruptures, the self-energy of the group held the space and allowed everyone to complete the process as a cohesive unit.

Marty: Hmm. Awesome.

Morgan: Yeah.

Bill: Yeah.

Marty: I think it's amazing that, that five people would write a book to, it's just incredible to me to, especially given all the layers of stuff, you know, not only our neurology, but our, you know, our, our parts themselves and their, you know, their. Issues that they have and their needs that they have, and it's just incredible and I think this is gonna be a hugely valuable resource for many people.

Bill: There's one more paragraph you wanna read it?

Morgan: Okay. And this kinda goes along with what you were saying. Writing a book is hard, writing a book with another person is harder, writing a book with five people, living in three different countries, spending multiple time zones, representing many different identities, raised in several generations, and having more, than one neurotype, and providing perspective from vast lis- life experiences is nearly impossible, but we did it.

Bill: But we did it. right. Do you know one why? And one thing I wanna say about why we were able to do it is that despite all those differences and all those challenges, what we were writing about was the IFS model and our experience with it. The IFS model is amazing that it works for a broad range of neurodiverse neuro, what do you, how do you say this? What's the word I'm looking for? Neuro. neurology.

Morgan: yeah neuro neurodiversity. So that's the whole spectrum neurotypicals, neurodivergence,

Bill: Yeah,

Morgan: yeah.

Bill: it just works. We all have parts and as you were saying, and that was such a great point you made earlier, Morgan, that our parts are brilliant. They take what they have to work with and they make it work. They use hardware, the software that we have. They help us. They protect us. They devotedly do their jobs and getting to know them in the way that IFS allows us to get them to know them, helps us to get to know ourselves better no matter what our neuro,

Morgan: Type,

Bill: thumbprint is.

Morgan: no,

Bill: Type is. Yeah. We do need to begin to wrap up. Morgan, what else would you like to say to listeners who just meeting you and learning about this parts work? Guidebook

Morgan: if I can adjacent to that for one second. I think, and part of the introductory questions were, like, how, like, how was I coming back to

Bill: I.

Morgan: or finding myself under these layers, and things like that. And with IFS, it's when I started to have this self that the confidence and everything, the clarity, so I could be who have had to hide intentionally and not, to bring the self-energy to the project, to my work, to everything. and that's the power, I think, of the model too.

Bill: Absolutely. Yeah.

Marty: Beautiful.

Bill: I Go ahead Marty.

Marty: I just said beautiful.

Bill: Morgan, I so appreciate you joining us on the podcast. And I appreciate the last comment that you made, especially because this is the True You podcast. Our conversations really do center around the journeys of our guests and of each other, of Marty and I of how we've our way. We've lost ourselves and how we have found our way back. And it sounds like that's been the case for you. You have found, you've found, you have found your true, authentic self capital s

Morgan: Yeah.

Bill: Yeah.

Marty: It's great.

Bill: joining us.

Marty: Great to meet you. Thanks for being here.

Morgan: thanks for having me on.

Bill: Take care. Speaker: We appreciate who you are that you would be listening to this podcast and want to acknowledge all those parts of you that yearn for the experience of the true you. Speaker 2: If you like this episode, click like Share it with others and be sure to subscribe. Listen again next week for the newest episode. Speaker: Check show notes for a transcript and a link to resources including a link to let us know if you'd like to be a guest on our podcast. Speaker 2: Thank you for listening and going on this journey with us. Back to the true you.